The House Guest (Unedited)

Chapter 14: A Response

The bold question slips from his lips so abruptly that I fear I may have misheard him. He stares at me, blue eyes pleading - mesmerizing. What kind of woman would be secure enough to refuse an offer from Henry Caldwell? A man with a large inheritance, funny, charming, devilishly handsome, and amiable. A man whom I have been foolishly, but admittedly in love with for the past three years. And, still, how am I to know if I will ever receive another offer of marriage? But then again, Henry bears the reputation of being a notorious flirt, and perhaps this offer is only another one of his ploys to toy with my naïve heart. Alas, our coupling would be most inconvenient as Lady Caroline likely desires for Henry to marry a wealthy heiress, in order to further the Caldwell family's rank and prestige. Moreover, such a proposal should not be made in such a compromising situation: two unmarried individuals unaccompanied in a lonely corridor. It is most likely that this "offer" is a plea for me to be his lover, rather than his wife.

"We cannot marry," I reply evenly. "To do so would be... is out of the question."

"Helene, my darling, think of all the places we could go. We could travel to India, to France, the Americas, all in a hot air balloon, like we discussed all those years ago! And I would buy you dresses, you would be the most beautiful woman in England - no, the world. You'd have a piano, flowers, and every single thing your heart may desire. We don't have to worry about what anyone thinks, we could buy a villa in Italy, spend our summers in Florence and our winters in India." He speaks passionately, his voice animated and his hands moving expressively as he imagines a world with no consequences, no realism.

I freeze as he places a large hand upon my waist, pulling me into his stone hard chest. I am paralyzed by his touch, his fingers pressed on the small of my back, his other hand becoming engrossed with the strands of my unkempt hair...

I step back, out of his grasp.

"Henry, please don't consider such things," I laugh, mustering amusement while on the inside I'm quaking with impossible fear, "I cannot marry you. I - I must admit I doubt your intentions. And, though I wish it could be so - I am convinced that we are not meant to be together. Your parents would disown you, if we were ever to marry. Though we've had our share of disagreements, you are still my friend, and I care about you. Can we discuss this further with your family?"

Henry paces back and forth now, folding his arms across his chest. His temperament frightens me.

"So. This is how it is." he says, his eyes brimming with tears.

"Henry - please... I'm not trying to hurt you." He cuts me off as I place a hand on his arm.

"You think me to be a devilish rake. Not to be trusted. And - the thought of marrying me revolts you. Well, Helene, I promise, I shall wait for you till the end of time - I shall love you most ardently, even when my health fails me and I have nothing left. You have brought me comfort at the dawn of my adolescence, and you have grown to be a most dear companion, and a woman I cannot help but love. I have made mistakes, and I have acted impulsively, but I've always known - I love you, dearest Helene."

"Farewell, Henry."

My heart slams violently against my chest. Tears cloud my vision, and I feel myself turn my back to him, but it pains me greatly to do so. I know, I love him, whether that love be the foolish school-girl kind, or the caring, affectionate, friendship kind. Alas, I love him to the extent that I don't want him to ruin his own life - and I know though he may believe he loves me, he will regret squandering his future on love. And so, I turn away, a burning, stinging sensation in my stomach. When I am no longer in his line of vision, I squeeze my eyes shut, leaning helplessly against the wall, crying but not making a sound.

Dear Lord, please give me the strength to bear this. Show me that I didn't just make the biggest mistake in my life.

~~~