My mouth
has been silenced.
I no longer
speak to you.
Don't dwell
on how miserable
your life is.
It isn't that bad.
You make it seem
like you live in
a prison.
A typical crybaby.
I had four friends,
now I have three,
and now I only have one.
It is strange really.
You want to be friends,
but I am tired of being
ridiculed by
relatives and students.
'How can you be friends with her?'
'She was mean to my sister.'
'Crazy bitch...'
'Insane little emo girl.'
You never knew
I stood up for you.
People called you these
things behind your back.
In truth,
you weren't kind to me.
My parents,
and a former friend noticed this.
'She is disrespectful.'
'Loud...and mean.'
'I never want that girl here again.'
'You need to lose her.'
I would always
still help you.
I cannot
speak a word to you.
Whenever I try,
I feel like I'll puke.
My icy heart
has changed who I am.
My weight is decreasing,
my hair is vanishing,
my heart is slowing.
How much longer?
I want to do something,
but I have them to fear.
Your friends,
and you never stood up for me.
'She likes the drama.'
'Attention whore...'
'Another redneck from Moron's-ville.'
'Stay away from her.'
Scars appeared on
my stomach,
wrists,
and legs.
Not all of them
were from me.
A boy,
he did it to me.
Another boy
ruined me,
but you didn't care.
No, you really didn't.
'Don't text her anymore!'
'I should punch their faces in!'
'You're so stupid...'
'God, you're an idiot.'
Secretly,
I texted you.
No one really talked
to me.
I was lonely,
very lonely.
My mom and dad,
were mad.
They were mad at me,
the boy,
you,
and now eachother.
My mom found out,
and I was in trouble.
She grounded me,
grounded me good.
'I told you not to text her!'
'Listen to mom...'
'When will you understand?'
'Garrett and I...well...we don't like her.'
Every day,
I think of you.
My thoughts are usually
dark and bitter.
Sometimes
I dream about being dead.
Others I think
about everyone I know being dead.
I would rather them be dead,
thenjust ignoring me.
I only have one friend,
he succeeded.
No one,
not even my one friend,
knows who they are.
Only I know.
I look back and tell myself
that even though
you caused me hurt,
I would help you.
The only thing I can't
do for you,
is be your friend.
That's just not how it works.
