I take a break
from playing my violin.
I look out my window,
so much has changed.
I lost many friends,
some which I won't miss,
some that eat
at my fading heart.
My brother became
so sick,
and mom and dad
worry we will lose him.
I wish you would
take a moment at your
pretend miserable life,
and talk to me.
I can't talk to you.
I promised my parents
I wouldn't.
It's because of what I feel.
Ridiculed by doctors,
they almost lost Shane twice.
I fear these few months
may be his last.
You say you listened to
your brain and not your heart.
Stop lying to yourself and others.
You think love comes easy?
You think your dream boy
will just waltz up and
sweep you off your feet?
Love is just a made up feeling.
Did you ever think about
how I felt?
I let you put your weight
on my shoulders.
Now in my greatest time,
the time I will go through pain,
I have absolutely no one.
No one I can really trust.
I took the blows for you,
but you don't know that.
I kept people from saying
bitter things to you.
They would eat your frail
will power up in seconds.
Seeing as you always said
you couldn't stand being hated.
Part of me says I should say
just as bad things about you.
So why don't I?
I have better things to do.
So just keep quiet,
and don't even look at me.
The quieter you stay,
the easier I can cover up for you.
Turn around you
dating him
to just a rumor.
Just sit there and look perfect.
I know the deep,
dark truth about
you.
The you I never knew.
'Stupid girl...'
'She is a total bitch.'
'I was hoping he would hurt her.'
'Raised to be a brat no doubt.'
I push these
things back into peoples'
mouths.
So you won't hear them.
I stare at my brother,
totally comatose.
I feel my icy heart twist,
and I walk away.
