The Alpha's Badass Luna

CHAPTER 12: Broken

JORDAN POV
It had been a few weeks since I had met Blake and everything was going perfectly, the mark has faded now, which I gotta say I'm kind of sad about. We haven't fully mated yet, I'm not in the right state of mind to do that yet. I trust Blake completely, but I haven't told him what happened yet and I don't feel right doing it until I've told him.

I have just woken up in the warm arms of Blake as usual, we were in the same position we had fallen asleep in. His head was rested on my chest and he was laying on top of me with his arms wrapped around my waist underneath the shirt I was wearing, which happened to be his.

I admired his face as the sun hit it and gave his face a gold sheen, how was I so lucky to have been blessed with a mate like him, he was perfect, but still I couldn't tell him about my past, he'd leave me and I wouldn't be able to deal with that. Who would want a mate with a past like mine.

I feel him roll onto his back next to me, his arms still wrapped around my waist, I slowly tug his arms from my waist careful not to wake him and get out of bed, I put on a pair of tracksuit bottoms and walk downstairs. I needed some air. I walked out the back door of the house and into the woods.

I keep walking until I hear the sound of water, the trees open out into a clearing where a river ran through the middle of it, I walk up to the river and cup some of the water in my palm, then splash my face. In the reflection of the water I could see my pale face, it reminded me of myself a few years ago, all the pain and torment.

I backed away and sat against a tree at the edge of the clearing, my head between my legs, I thought back to the worst time in my life, back to the man that took my sanity and replaced it with pain and a big nothing, it took me back to the point when I thought I would die purely because I no longer felt anything, mentally, emotionally and physically.

I felt a single tear fall from my eye and slide down my cheek. We can't all keep a strong front all the time.

BLAKE POV
I woke up to a pack member trying to get in contact with me. 'Alpha there are rogues that have just entered the perimeter, guards are on it but I thought it would be suitable for you to know that they are on our land' this was Jerry, one of my best perimeter guards 'okay thank you Jerry, sort it out, I'll be with you as soon as I can' 'okay Alpha'.

Mind link ended and I reached my hand to the side to grab Jordan, but instead was greeted my a cold empty bed, my body immediately shot out of bed and I started shouting out to her. When I didn't get an answer my wolf started to freak out and on instinct he took over and started tracking my mate from scent, we were mad, the rogues were in our land and could get to our mate before we do.

JORDAN POV
I heard the trees behind me move and I immediately got to my feet and backed into the tree, even though I'm a strong warrior, I wasn't mentally in a state of mind to fight with anyone right now, I was bringing up memories that I hadn't though of since the god awful days they happened.

Suddenly out of the bushes emerges my mate, Blake. Though something was different about him, his jaw was set in a tight line, his eyes were practically black and all his muscles were taunt. His wolf was in control. He stalks towards me at a furious pace.

Once he is in front of me he slams his body against mine and pushes me against a tree, on any other occasion I would have welcomed my possessive mates strong body firmly pressed to the front of mine. But right now, not with the images that were flashing through my brain did I want this.

Ryder or Blake pushed against me harder and started to kiss down my neck, I froze for a second, "Ryder please could you just back away maybe and stop, we can talk about what has got you so riled up but I need you to just move away from me."

I felt the similar ache in my throat, like I was about to cry again, when he just sucked and bit my neck harder. His hands started to move down and make their way towards my intimate area. "There are rogues on my land and I didn't know where mate was, they could have taken you" he mumbled into my neck as his hands reach their destination.

He starts to tug down the waist of my joggers when a tear falls down her face and i whisper "stop" as a last attempt against my oblivious mate, I no longer saw Blake, i saw my abuser from the past, the man who ruined me for anyone else, for myself.

Hearing the distress in my voice his head snaps up and his eyes immediately lighten and he rapidly moved his hands and pulled up the waistband to my tracksuit bottoms "baby, baby are you alright? I'm so sorry I didn't realise, I was going crazy I though the rogues had got you and my wolf took over," he then moved his hand up to my face to wipe away the tears that were currently streaming down my damp cheeks.

I couldn't help but flinch from his touch, a look of hurt and fear blossomed in his eyes. He retracts his hand but moves his arms carefully around my back and gently pulls me into a hug like I'm going to break, which I probably will. I couldn't help but let out a quite sob and start to pull away.

I couldn't look at him right now, I was officially broken now, Blake didn't know what was going on because I haven't told him about my past yet, but I saw him, that devil, in my mate and right now I couldn't un see it. Bringing back up memories like this isn't healthy for me, I would go down a spiral that is depressed and silent.

Even though I knew I was hurting Blake, I had to get away, to rid myself of the horrors of my life, what kind of mate am I to see him as my past abuser, a bad one, i didn't deserve him, I was broken goods. With that thought I pulled away and disappeared into the bushes, away from Blake.

Hope you all enjoyed, bit of a sad chapter. Sorry if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes. Thank you all for reading this I really appreciate it. The next goal is 50k views, we can do it. Thanks for all he support. Until next time! Xx