STELLA SYNDROME. ✓

XIV. new moon

XIV.
n e w   m o o n

━━

THE next morning was tense, stoic and cold.

when yoongi's eyes opened from his position sprawled on the carpet floor in the living room, everyone else had already awoken long ago. he walked slowly into the kitchen, feeling his stomach rumble but not reaching for the cereal as he would usually, since six pairs of eyes were zeroed in on him. he swallowed, trying not to seem intimidated, though he very much was.

namjoon was the first to speak. "alright. let's talk about what the fuck happened last night." his tone was calm but sharp, commanding. yoongi was a bit surprised at how he cursed—it's not that the leader didn't, but he tried not to unless he was truly angry. which he clearly seemed to be.

he snuck a glance at jimin and jungkook, who were standing shoulder to shoulder but nothing more. normally they would have an arm around the other, or some other sort of interaction, but none today. none since he'd ruined everything.

he swallowed again, realizing he had no pride nor courage left so what the hell, might as well fuck it. "i have no shame in what i did."

one look at the flames dancing in jungkook's eyes were enough to make him reconsider his words, but taehyung spoke up softly, "me too. i... i may be sorry that it happened that way, but i'm not sorry i did it."

for a moment, silence blanketed the room. but as quickly as it had come, it was discarded. "but... why?" jimin asked quietly, brown doe-eyes shimmering with emotion, turning yoongi's insides over.

suddenly, the pain was too much to bear. it'd only been a month since they'd taken jungkook back from the hospital and the flowers had started coming, but still. he and taehyung had been hiding this for quite a while. maybe not as long as the maknae did, but a long time despite. and now, that needed to change.

to the other members' horror, the bluenette lurched forward, hands flying to his lips to catch the blue petals falling from them. seokjin shrieked in terror while hoseok just let out a tiny gasp, face white. but yoongi's mouth only curled at the edges as he drew his palms away and opened them for all to see. "that's why."

"oh my god," jimin breathed, and their eyes met for a split second. guilt and grief were written inside of them, and abruptly, yoongi needed to get away. get away from this boy he couldn't control himself around—

then everyone turned to blink at taehyung, who smiled weakly and pulled a few red petals from his pocket. "yeah—"

"how long." jungkook interrupted, voice heavy and harsh. no, he was not asking him a question, he was demanding an answer.

"a month." was the reply, taehyung's. yoongi lowered his gaze, bracing himself for the different responses from the couple—furious, depressed, confused. he knew they were all three of these things; he just didn't want to know which card they decided to play.

but he got no hissed words from jimin nor jungkook. no explosion from the two people he expected.

"i can't believe you." the bluenette's pupils snapped up to land on the eldest's, menacing and dark. not anything like he was. seokjin narrowed his eyes on him and slammed a hand down on the table, startling hoseok. "i cannot believe you."

namjoon just backed away and let him have the stage, but even he looked concerned. seokjin was never truly pissed ever, and this was the first time he'd looked terrifyingly unlike himself.

"so this is how it's going to be from now on." the oldest deadpanned, gesturing to all of them. "this is what we're going to do." when no one said anything, he only grew madder. "we're going to lie and hide from each other?!" seokjin's voice broke in his anger, and he furrowed his eyebrows. "we're going to keep secrets and allow diseases like this to hurt us rather than facing the truth and helping one another?!" he shook his head wearily. "when i first joined bts, i thought i was gaining my closest friends in the world and that we would all encourage and build each other up. because that's how a team works."

he continued, "but what i didn't know was that i was entering not just a team, but a family. i love all of you as i would my own blood." then his face crumpled into misery. "for a while, it lasted. but now, bangtan is falling apart." seokjin's voice shook. "and even if you weren't in the wrong and didn't do anything, i don't think... i can trust you, any of you, wholly anymore."

this time, the silence was here to stay.

━━

JIMIN still couldn't muster the willpower to look at yoongi and taehyung—yoongi for doing the unthinkable, taehyung for following in his footsteps. kissing his jungkook, who he was sure was as pissed off and confused as he was.

hurt, fury, betrayal—all swarmed around his mind, only festering when he refused to let them out. no, he didn't want to speak to them because that would only lead to an explosion that would make all of them unhappy. not that they already weren't.

after the discussion in the kitchen, he'd retreated to his room, empty and barren. he'd normally slept in jungkook's since he'd returned from the hospital, but jungkook had seemed like he needed some space for a while, to think about all of this. a flash of anger pricked his heart; if not for yoongi and taehyung, none of this would've happened.

but then his heart softened. he couldn't imagine how scared and guilty they must be feeling. he knew firsthand how they felt and how heartbreaking it was when the one you loved didn't return those feelings.

jimin sighed and let his head fall against the pillow, blonde hair fluffing beneath it. he didn't know what to do. before, things had been so easy. they had just been bts; seven members with different personalities and perspectives of life, united in their hopes and dreams of becoming superstars. now, they were divided among each other.

and it was there on his bed when jimin had an overwhelmingly strong itch in his throat. he coughed twice, but still it stayed. in fact, the longer he laid there, the stronger the urge became, until he realized that there was something awful in his stomach that was begging to come out.

the blonde struggled to make it to the toilet, throwing the door open and falling to the floor. as soon as he had emptied the contents of his intestines in the bowl, his eyes blurred and began to focus on the glowing objects swirling in the water.

the horror of what he saw would never leave him.

there it is.
but i'm not
done yet