Patience

Thirteen

When I got back from work that night, Axl was out on the balcony, smoking a cigarette. It's funny how we always find ourselves here. I set my jacket and purse down on the counter and slid the loud door open, which startled him for a second. He turned to face me and leaned against the balcony. I stepped out to join him.

"Cigarette?" He asked me.

"Sure," I said, taking it from and placing between my teeth. Axl handed me his lighter, which I used.

"How was work, doll?" Axl asked me, blowing smoke out of his mouth.

"It was chaotic, but I think I did good for it being my first day," I said.

"Chaotic good," Axl replied with a chuckle.

I laughed. "Chaotic good," I echoed.

"So, guess what," Axl said, putting his cigarette out on the railing of the balcony. He turned to face the city, his arms rested on the railing. His hands clasped one another as he leaned forward and looked out at the view.

"What?" I asked, blowing smoke out of my mouth.

"We finished our album today. It's called Appetite for Destruction and I think it's everything I've ever wanted in an album," Axl said, smiling. He was looking up at the sky.

"Axl, that's amazing! I'm so happy for you!" I told him excitedly. I placed my hand on his arm. His gaze immediately changed directions from the sky, to my hand, then to my eyes.

"This Friday Slash is having a party at his place to celebrate the release. Speaking of which, it's getting released on Friday," Axl informed me.

"I can't wait," I told him. He beamed at me. Axl shifted, standing up straight.

"And I forgot to mention I bought a new apartment and we have to be moved out of here by tomorrow afternoon," Axl said.

"You bought us an apartment!" I exclaimed, ignoring the fact we should probably be packing up right at this very moment. There was something about his impulsiveness that excited me.

"Yeah, it's two bedroom and has a much better bathroom," He said.

"Can we go see it?" I asked eagerly.

"Nope, it's a surprise. You have to wait until we move in," He said.

"Fine," I said, rolling my eyes. "But, shouldn't we start packing?" I asked Axl as I put my cigarette out.

"Yeah, probably."

***

Early the next morning, we were piling boxes into Axl's car. Axl had called Steven up since he has a pickup truck, which was useful for hauling some of our furniture to the new place. As a house warming gift, Duff gave us a nice futon, which was my current bed. At least it has a mattress, right? I mean, it's better than sleeping on a couch.

The apartment Axl bought was wonderful. It amazed me how he could afford it. It had two bedrooms, a nice bathroom, and the kitchen and living room were separate rooms. There was a balcony on this apartment as well. My favorite thing about the apartment was that it's right on the coast, overlooking the Santa Monica beach.

The band was there helping us unpack and giving us housewarming gifts. Izzy ordered several pizzas for all of us to eat after we unpacked. It was our small way of celebrating today's triumphant move-in.

After the unpacking was done, the band just stayed around for the rest of the day.

"You know, guys, this really is a nice view," Duff called to us from the balcony.

"The sunsets will be beautiful to watch," Slash added.

"How did you afford this?" I asked, turning to Axl.

Axl shrugged. "That's not important, lovely Lucy. What's important is the fact that it's ours," He said. 

The band stayed around until it started getting dark, then, they all decided to leave so we could settle in. After they said their goodbyes, I decided to take a shower. Move-in day had me all sweaty and dirty, and I could use a nice, warm shower right about now.

"Wait, Lucy," Axl said, following me into the bathroom.

"Yeah?" I asked. I looked at my feet. I knew what was about to come next.

"Lucy," Axl began, "Now that we have this amazing apartment in the most perfect spot, and I was wondering if you're ready to be something more than just friends?"

I froze. That was the last thing on my mind at the moment, and I wasn't expecting a question like that at all. Did he only do this for me? I wondered. Surely not.

"Axl," I said, "I'm not ready."

Axl's face dropped and I could see the disappointment in his eyes. I clenched my fist and shut my eyes. Why. Why. Why. Why me? Why did I have to be the one that hurt him?

"Axl, I'm sorry," I said, opening my eyes. "You didn't do all of this just for me, did you?"

"It's fine," He muttered, disregarding my question. He brushed past me and out the door.

I reached out as if I was going to grab him, but before anything could come out of my mouth, the door was slammed shut, and Axl was gone for the night. I stood in silence for a moment, wondering if I should have said something different. No, I thought. I've made myself clear. He'll be back. I'm sure of it.

I went ahead and took my shower. A long and thoughtful one. I can't help but feel bad, but it's not my fault. Axl should be a little more understanding, but at the same time, I've probably been leading him on. Maybe we're both to blame...

What did I think of him? Do I have feelings for him? Well, of course I do, but I don't know if I'm just desperate or not. No, I'm not. What am I thinking?

Oh god, where is Axl? I hope he's okay. I just hope he'll be back soon. I hope he doesn't hate me.

Maybe I'm just afraid of falling in love and getting my heart broken again.