Blurred Lines.

paranoid, jason?

Death is kinda funny.

One minute you're a person and you're a part of this world and then the next you're not. You're not a being person anymore. You're just a memory in a handful of people's mind that will carry around the weight of your life with them for the rest of theirs. 

But eventually, everyone is forgotten. Unless you do something to shape the way the world is today. 

Which is what drives people to do a lot of bad things and also a lot of good things. 

I think if we stopped idolizing the bad and start praising the good, we'd live in a much more civilized society. Except maybe Gotham. Gotham will never be civilized. I swore last time that I would never come back here, but I did. I'm back and it's awful. 

I attended the funeral for Agatha's dad. I expected to find her lurking in the shadows, but I was the only one lurking. 

I had been watching his parents old home. If she is there, she's hiding pretty well. 

I was frustrated. I was tired. But most of all, I felt guilty. I kept thinking about if I had never decided to take on that factory. If I had never kicked that door in and grabbed her out of there, if I had never been a hero. Then none of this would have happened. 

I tried to focus on the positive. One less scum bag right? But I was still convinced that she was a danger to the Bat family. Which is why for the time being, I cut all ties to them. And Bruce understood. He didn't think she was a threat, but he took my caution very seriously. 

He believes that she's a mental case. That wasn't exactly his words, but basically said that she didn't know what was real and what was imaginary. I guess that I should listen to him. If anyone knew anything about mental problems, it would be him. 

Just saying.

But it didn't make me feel better. Agatha is a danger to herself. If she's the one that killed her father then she could be targeting her mother next. I had enough blood on my hands. 

I didn't know where to turn to next. I just watched and waited and hoped that our paths were crossed. But what made me think that he hadn't stashed her somewhere. I had spent so much time anticipating that she had been the one to kill her father, that I hadn't taken into account that someone else had. 

"Red." I turned quick. My guard was up, but I seen Jett grinning at me with his hands crossed across his chest. 

"Jett." I wasn't sure if he was still pissed or not. Had he come to seek out revenge on me for how I treated them? Or did he blame me for Agatha running off. 

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. You haven't been returning my phone calls." He still wasn't giving anything away. 

Truth be told, I tossed the phone out of anticipation that she could be running his crime organization and have someone tracking me every second of the way. 

"It got broke." I lied smoothly. I have always been a master at distorting the truth. It's a specialty of mine. 

"Why do you keep looking at me like I'm going to attack you at any given moment?" He half smiled. For a moment, I thought it was best to drop my defense, but I couldn't be sure. 

"Because last time we talked, you were pretty salty with me. And well, you know in my line of work, people aren't quick to take you back. They'd rather put a bullet in you." He laughed them. 

"I can assure you. I know that any battle I'd have with you would end in my defeat. I'm the brains of our operation, not the brawn." I half smiled at him too. 

"That's why you're the more deadly out of the two of us." We stare at each other. We were trying to read each other carefully. 

"The way I see it is you need all the help you can get. You're riding blind here." I tilted my head and exhaled. 

I know that's true. Since cutting contact with Bruce, I have been running around with no real plan. Just because I don't know where to start to look for her. 

"Fine." I said. "But I don't know what to tell you, because for the first time, I have no idea what the next step is in the plan." 

He grins at me wickedly. It almost made me want to grin. 

"Lucky for you, I'm here to help. Have you checked the bar that her father frequented?" I didn't consider that she might have taken over her father's spot. But I didn't know what I considered anymore. 

"I didn't." I was still lost in the thought. 

"If she killed her father, that might be why. Wasn't it you that said he'd taken a more 'manager' approach to the club. So, if she wanted that point of luxury, what would she have to do to earn that from them?" He's thinking and I can see the way that the thought process goes, but I'm not entirely convinced of it either. 

"But what if she's not the one who killed him? What if someone else killed him and we're just assuming that she's the one who did it? He wasn't exactly the most friendly man that I have ever met." I leaned against the building and sighed. 

"You're right, but I think that we should watch that shack they call a club house." He was right. Either side of the coin leads back to this one club. 

"Alright. I agree. But I think it's important that we each take an angle. Call me first sign of trouble." He laughed at me. 

"You said your phone broke." I laughed and shrugged.

"Maybe I lied." He shook his head. 

Maybe he's the closest thing to a friend that I have. Or maybe he's just the only other person that can relate to me and my secrets. 

What a mess this is.