Blurred Lines.

begging for a brick,jason

God. 

What have I done?

There was nothing, but the sound of my breathing. Jett was gone. He left the moment he found out the news. He was out. He wanted nothing to do with it. I couldn't blame him. I'd done something horrible and I felt sick. 

The sun was rising and all I could do is stare at her body. She was gone and all that was left was the body of someone who lived and died. Someone who was already suppose to have been dead years ago, but now really was. 

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to call anyone. I didn't want to bring awareness to the situation, but I needed something done. I couldn't leave her here to be found my some stranger or to be ate by some animal. 

So, I did the only thing that I knew how. I called and asked for help. 

I had to walk away from the body. I couldn't handle being near her and reliving every single conversation that we had ever had. She was a good actress. But which of her was the real her. 

Before she flipped over, she flipped again, and she was the broken and hurt Agatha that I knew from her rescue. That bitter cold person was not her. 

But it didn't matter anymore. Because she was dead. She was gone and everything that I wanted to do was done and over with. She was done and other with. 

I still didn't get answers. I still was left with questions. I felt like nothing was accomplished, but I had no choice in closing this book. There were no more chapters of her life left for me to complete. 

Hours later, Bruce pulls in. I haven't moved from the spot that I was in, because if I move I'm certain that I'm going to fall apart. He walked to me. He didn't say anything, but I could tell that he felt pity for the situation. 

I don't want his pity. I never asked for his pity. I asked for his help to fix this. 

"She had problems, Jason. This couldn't have been avoided." He patted my shoulder. 

"You knew this would happen and you didn't warn me?" I should not be shocked or upset, but I was. I had a mixture of both. 

"I didn't know for sure. But she was battling with who she was. I've seen that same battle with you." He said it like it was going to lighten the blow. But all it did was intensify it. 

"I .. Yeah, you're right." I was too tired and too disgusted to even fight with him about it. Besides, I knew what I was before and I knew what I did to people before. I vow to never be that person again. 

There were no difference between us. There was absolutely no difference. I ended up the exact same way that she was. Except I didn't kill myself. I wasn't killed, but it was my actions that lead to it. And it's took a long time for me to accept that. 

"Jason.. " I looked up at him. He looked the exact same way. I looked for something that said that I was nothing like her, but that look is the same one that I gave her. 

"I couldn't help her. I couldn't help her even if she would have let me. We would have ended up killing each other." I mumbled. I was sick of death. I was so tired of death surrounding me that I could just throw up. 

It was every where. It wanted me because I cheated it. I cheated death and it wants me back. 

"Let's get this took care of." Bruce said rather calmly. He never asked if I pushed her or if I was responsible. He took care of me and he was protecting me. 

We worked in silence for a while. My mind racing with the thoughts of Agatha. How everything was a flashing game to her. I just was left with so many questions and really not enough answers. 

Why did she kill herself? Was she able to flip from one personality to the next? Was she even switching personalities? Or was it just who she was and she was trying to come to terms with it. 

Did she have a soul? 

I needed the answers to stop my troubled mind, but there were none offered. 

"There are things in this life that we cannot be held responsible for, Jason." His words hit me hard and I stopped preparing her body, and looked up at him. 

"Death surrounds me. She was sentenced to death the moment I found her." That's why I had to distance myself from those that I cared about most. 

"Death doesn't surround you. You just think it does." Bruce said in such a calm voice, that I was sure he was forgetting the conversation we were having.

"I'm sorry, have you forgotten that I died? And as much as I would like to stand here and blame you for my death, we both know that I did everything that you told me not too. I was destined for death. I cheated death and it wants me back. It can't have me, so it's taking everyone that I come into contact with." I yell at him. We're secluded, so it's not like anyone can hear me. 

"I know what you're feeling, Jason. When I lost my parents and then I lost you. I felt the same way. How could I bring another Robin into the mix and risk their life? How could I open the door, literally, and allow another single person to enter?" Bruce raises up, straightening up and peering down at me. 

"I still find myself sometimes thinking about what would have happened had my parents survived the attack. I find myself thinking what would happen if I would have just got to you just five minutes sooner. There's always going to be what ifs." Bruce stated. "What if you wouldn't have died? What if you wouldn't have been brought back? What if everyone you knew didn't die? Would that change anything? Or would it change everything?" 

He backs up, pressing a button on his watch. The back doors to his car open and it reveals quite a large trunk. Of course, perfectly concealing the fact that it can hide bodies alive or dead.

"We can't change the past. We can't control the future. What we can control is how we handle these things. People die. People live. People die all while still living. We can't alter what life has handed us, but we can alter how we handle life. You just have to alter how you handle death." Bruce grabbed her body. 

We lifted her up into his vehicle and I watched as the back hatch closed. Bruce placed his hand on my shoulder, in that fatherly way, and sighed. 

"Jason, you're doing a fantastic job. Not many people can come back and handle it. You're an extraordinary person and I admire you." I would almost shed a tear, if I really honestly cared. 

But I guess, I did care. 

"I should tell you too, Alfred is awake." He doesn't give anymore details. I climb into the passenger side of his door and rest my head against the window. 

I just needed a little rest before facing Gotham. I guess that little rest ended up in a deep sleep. Because as I watched the street lamps and the trees race by, I just remember thinking how times have changed and then I was out.