Masked Enemies

Chapter 18

Finnick

Coin was dead. So was Snow.

I had never really liked Coin, or Snow. I could understand why Katniss had killed Coin.

I had never known Prim all that well. I do remember, though, her treating me in the hospital. She was always the best medic there, and by that, I mean she was the nicest. She understood my loss. Such a waste.

Then there was Peeta. I did know him, and I came to care for him greatly. Why else would I have protected him throughout the entire mission?

Katniss has suffered more than I did. I needed to stop wallowing in my pool of self pity and go cheer her up.

So I walk down the hallways of the Estate until I find her. She is standing by a large flag of Panem.

"Finnick." She nods to me. Katniss does not seem happy. She seems sad, almost depressed, in fact.

"Katniss." I nod back. "I'm going to the mess hall. Do you want to come?"

Really, the idea had just occurred to me now. It wasn't like I was going somewhere, and I wanted to cheer her up.

Katniss shrugs. "Why not?" she says.

I smile. "Let's go." I tell her. She starts walking, but I wait. I don't know why. Perhaps it was because letting her go first seemed right.

Katniss stopped abruptly and turned around. "Uh, what are you waiting for?"

"I don't know." I tell her. "Just... thinking about something."

Katniss smiles. "Why? Do you want me to hold your arm and walk you there?"

I turn red at that. "Um...." I realize that this was my chance. A devilish grin spreads across my face as I say: "Yes."

I don't think that was the answer she was expecting. Most definitely she was expecting me to turn red and strut in front of her, therefore getting to the hall before her. So Katniss looped her arm through mine. I felt very uncomfortable doing this, but I gave up and followed her.

We arrive in the mess hall, where Katniss tells me she is going to get food. I'm not hungry, so I take a seat at a table that is mostly empty, except for a tall man with dark brown hair.

"Gale." I say.

Gale nods to me in response, and then warily eyes Katniss. I look at him, surprised that he would think that I would ever do something that rude. Rude not only to him, but Peeta and Prim and Annie. It was insulting to think that I would be such a traitor.

"Just because the Capitol used me that way doesn't mean that's all I am." I tell him in a low voice, bending down so no one can hear me except him.

Gale's hand brushes his hair. He looks apologetic, but still wary. There is a long silence. Perhaps my words have caused him to look at me differently. Maybe they caused him to realize I wasn't the Capitol prostitute he thought I was.

"I'm sorry." Gale says, breaking the long silence.

I smile. Gale was a nice guy when he wasn't in war-mode.

Katniss joins us in a few minutes. I beckon to her, and she comes to sit next to me, looking uneasy at the thought of sitting next to Gale. She shoots me a look. I smile. The whole reason I sat here, now that I think about it, was so Katniss would forgive Gale, and so Gale would get a chance to apologize. Katniss had been avoiding Gale ever since the bombing, blaming him for Prim and Peeta's deaths. Maybe it was his fault, maybe it was not. Although Gale had made the bombs, he had never known that they would be used in such a manner.

Gale takes a while to realize why I brought Katniss here. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, he says, "I'm sorry. I know it was my fault Prim and Peeta are dead. I you want to shoot me or something too, you're welcome to."

Katniss looks at him like he's insane. "I'm not going to shoot you. You were blind with fury at the Capitol when you made those bombs. It's not your fault. I forgive you."

Gale looks overjoyed at this. He must have thought Katniss would never forgive him. The Katniss he knew might not have, but the Katniss I had met at the Quell would have. I remember how she washed me after the fog. Her kindness to me after Mags died, when she left me alone. That was the real Katniss, not the hunger-hardened one Gale knew.

Katniss throws me a loaf of bread. I push it back to her, telling her I don't want it. She insists I eat something. My stomach growls in response.

"How long has it been since you've eaten?" she asks me. For once, I don't have an answer. The last time I remember consuming proper food was the when we hid in the bunker under Tigris's boutique.

"Uh... three days?" I estimate. This answer did not help my argument.

Katniss is stern now. "Eat." she orders me.

I reluctantly shove the bread down my raw and sore throat. I tastes amazing, like the bread at the tribute center.

I am about to tell Katniss that this is from the tribute center, for there was a chance she didn't recognize it. Instead, I tell her: "This bread is good. Where'd it come from?"

I felt like it came from the tribute center, but I think that was just because we were in the Capitol. Even the food I had received from Tigris had tasted like that.

"Oh." Katniss said. "I-I think it's from- I'm not sure."

"It's from the tribute center." Gale says. I had forgotten he was there. The deliciousness of the bread had distracted me.

The tribute center. The place where I had prepared to go to my first and second games. The place I had met Katniss. The place where I got ready for brutally murdering people.

"Be right back." I say. Katniss looks a little green too. She follows me as I leap off the bench and dash to the bathroom. I close the door behind me and lean over the toilet, vomiting into the bowl.

I turn around and lean over the sink now, looking at my reflection. My face is red now, stained with stomach juice.

I grab a napkin and wet it, wiping my face with it. I clean myself up to the best of my ability. I run my fingers through my hair and flash myself a nervous smile. I kill the smile as soon as it reaches the corners of my mouth. That was the Capitol me. Now that the Capitol had been defeated, I could make a new me. A me that I could be proud of. So I put on a different face, this one not happy, not sad, and not neutral. It wasn't a poker face. It had no emotion to it, though.

I push the door open and walk out of the bathroom. Katniss is standing inside the women's restroom with the door open. I look inside casually. She is busy washing her face.

I watched as she splashed the sink water over her face. It made her skin practically glow. It caught on her lashes, like dewdrops on leaves or dew on grass. She blinked them out, and then splashed her face again. She sees me, and wipes her face dry with a towel.

Katniss joins me, and she and I walk back to the table. Gale has left, so we clean up and leave the room.

Night is falling. I guess that was my dinner.

"Finnick." Katniss starts. "Can you stay with me tonight?"

"Yeah." I say. I knew this was something she used to do with Peeta, so I say. "Always."