I glanced at myself in the mirror. My peach sundress swayed back and forth as I spun around to view myself from all angles. I glazed my lips with a shimmery light pink lipgloss and coated my eyelids with a neutral champagne shadow. I tried to plan how I would say goodbye to him as I talked to myself in the mirror, but I couldn't find the right words. Then, through my window, I saw his black Ford truck pull up in front of my house. It was pouring rain outside....great. I grabbed my purse and sweater as I ran out my bedroom door. Before I could even make it downstairs, my parents were already greeting him at the front door with goodbye hugs. As Colby talked to my parents, I slowly walked down the stairs. I saw Colby turn his attention away from my parents and onto me. He bit his lip and let out a half smile. Colby, wearing his topsiders, was dressed in a light blue polo button down with jeans.
"Ok, well you two better get going!" my mom exclaimed.
How could she be so happy about this? If it weren't for her, we wouldn't even be in this position. I tried to get my mind off the whole thing and just enjoy the night.
"See ya son.." my dad said in his low voice to Colby.
Colby opened the front door for me as we walked out. He lifted an umbrella and held it over my head as he helped me into the passenger seat of his car. Even though the humidity felt disgusting, I loved the smell of fresh rain.
"You look....beautiful." he said
Feeling uncomfortable, I let out a small smile and stared at the ground. It wasn't Colby that made me uncomfortable. The word beautiful made me uncomfortable. Colby had never called me beautiful before. Sure, he had said I was pretty, but I never believed it. But, for some reason tonight, he made me really believe that I was beautiful. The fact that I believed him made me uncomfortable.
Finally getting up the nerve I said "Thanks."
We drove through puddles as his windshield wipers swayed back and forth. There was more silence between us than usual. I tried to break it.
"So where are we going?" I curiously asked.
"You'll see..." he said mysteriously
We drove for about ten more minutes until he pulled up in front of a large building. The sign on the building said Garner Dance Hall. I shifted my gaze towards him, but he was already laughing at me.
"I hope you're kidding me." I said
"You promised me you'd teach me how to dance." he agreed
This should be interesting...I thought to myself. He opened the double doors to the dance hall as my eyes discovered a large dance floor with several couples. Before I could think about it, Colby had already grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor. We danced to fast paced music, laughing at each other as we always did. Dancing with Colby was nice; it was effortless.
"What's going on? Is something wrong?" I asked him as I stared at his deep green eyes. I had never really noticed how green they were. They were prettier tonight than I had ever seen them.
When he heard my question, his cheeks became very rosy. He frantically stepped on my toes. " Sorry. I just have a lot on my mind." he explained. He stepped on my toes several times, but I tried to pretend that I didn't notice.
"You know you can tell me anything right?" I asked with a concerned tone
"I know. I know. It's just that.....nevermind"
"Ok. That's fine." I said even though it wasn't fine. What was he so nervous about? Why couldn't he tell me? He always told me everything.
"Hey Casey, can we go?" Colby asked me
It was only 7:30. Why was he so anxious to get me home? We had just gotten here. My curfew wasn't even until eleven.
"I mean...if you want to." I said in a confused tone.
We grabbed our belongings as we headed out the large double doors. Colby wasn't talking much; he wasn't even looking at me. We got in the car and Colby began to drive towards my house. I just stared at my feet the whole car ride. I didn't know what to say. How did he expect me to feel after he had chosen to take me home after only an hour and a half? This night was supposed to feel so special because it was the last night we would be spending together for a long time. But the truth was....it wasn't special at all. I tried my best to believe that he wasn't taking me home until we pulled up and I saw my dimmed front porch lights.
"I'll walk you to your door." he said
I didn't respond. I helped myself out of the car and walked myself to the door. But, Colby unfortunately followed me to the door. I turned around to stop him in his tracks. We stood in the middle of my sidewalk directly facing each other. I had never been so mad at him in my life.
"Look Colby, I don't know what's going on, but it's upsetting me. This was supposed to be my best memory before I left and now it's my worst. So, thank you and goodnight." I turned away from him and headed towards the front door. I was more angry than sad.
"Wait." I heard his voice quietly say behind me as he grabbed my shoulder. I kept my back turned away from him. I refused to look at him. I didn't even respond.
"Casey. Don't you know why I've been acting weird tonight?"
I still didn't turn around.
He began to talk extremely fast. "Look, I've been hiding this for too long and if I don't tell you now, then I never will. Ever since that day I first talked to you, you've been everything I've thought about. I liked you so much that I couldn't even find the words to tell you. You were first person I thought of every morning when I woke up. I was so nervous tonight because I knew I was running out of time to tell you how I felt. So now I'm laying it all out on the table. I like you as more than a best friend. I stay awake at night thinking about you. I love how I can't breathe around you. Even hearing your voice makes me smile. I wasn't scared to tell you, I just didn't know how to put it. That's why I was so nervous. I knew tonight was my last chance to tell you how I feel." Colby relaxed a little bit.
I found it harder to breathe as I slowly backed away from him. As I tried to hold in the tears I whispered, "But it's too late now." My vision became blurry as tears flowed from my eyes. Mascara was smeared down my face. The nightime wind blew my hair as I tried to hold a smile. Colby ran up to me and gave me a tight hug. Colby had always given me the best hugs. I squeezed his back tighter than ever. I didn't want to let go, but I knew that I had to. I was leaving. It was too late. That boy who never spoke at lunch really cared about me. That boy who called me every night really cared about me. That best friend who I was dancing with tonight really cared about me. The boy who I was holding onto so tight right now really cared about me.
Colby wiped my wet cheek with his hand. "I don't regret anything I said." he whispered in my ear. I backed away from him, knowing that I had to say goodbye. I walked up the steps to my front porch and gave him one last smile. I unlatched my front door and stepped inside. I wanted to run back down the front porch steps to give him one last hug and let him know that everything was okay. But, it was already too late. Watching his tail lights grow dim in the distance was one of the worst feelings I had ever had.
