Sex and the Treaty

Where are you?

Atticus's perspective:

I always heard that silence speaks the loudest. Yes it does. Silence speaks the loudest, only inside your head and only to your own self. I thought Stacy leaving was a sign for me to get over her. But I never assumed it would be the reason I fall more for her.

She was right. I could never live with this pain inside my chest knowing I took her virginity. I used to beam everytime I thought about her. My heart used to absorb all colors and finally disperse it like a rainbow when I used to be around her. Now, now it just aches. Its become a void of black hole where I keep playing the reversing of time so I could make things alright. 

I'm in a state where I've stopped talking much and started to think about how many hearts I've broken. Its karma isn't it. I broke so many small hearts and karma broke mine the loudest. I shattered the heart pieces while karma bombed mine so bad, that I may have to travel miles to even fetch my pieces. But what about her pieces?

What about the pieces which I myself threw it far far away, into ecstasy of nowhere? I know she's gone to look for her bits but it scares me that she might never return. I started giving up on seeing her again. I'm trying so hard to move on but she doesn't leave me alone. 

I play her voice inside my head time and again just to kill the pain in my heart. I need her so bad. 

"Atticus come on, its already a month and you're still thinking about her?" Luke asked as he patted my back.

I sighed without answering. 

Most of my conversations these days are just sighs without answers. I don't know the answers myself.

"Dude, you gotta move on man." Davis nodded.

"I don't think she's going to come back." Luke shook his head and that's when I met his eyes.

"I don't mean to hurt you, but a month is long enough to decide never to come back again." Davis nodded too.

Don't say that. Not you two at least.

"You haven't spoken in days buddy. We miss hearing you speak." Davis cooed.

"You've made it so evident that even Nick and Dean know that something is wrong." Luke sighed.

Why would I even care about what they think?

"Come on Atty, you have to forget Stacy." Davis said banging the table.

"Stacy Brown, is not coming back bro. She's not coming back." Luke shook his head.

I shut my eyes trying to act like I didn't hear anything Luke just said. I don't want to believe in the fact that she's not going to come back. I know somewhere in my heart that she can't stay away from me for long. The pain I have cause will surely get her back to me, at least for taking revenge. 

I opened my eyes sighing as I spotted Bonnie. She looked sad and lonely as ever as she silently made her way towards the table she and Stacy always sat in. I saw her seat herself and just stare at the empty chair in front of her. I looked at Luke who was observing her too. She never came back after that fiasco at my place.

And Luke never gave up forgetting her. I know how hard that is. I'm not able to move on even when she's not here and how can we expect Luke to, when Bonnie's right in front of his eyes. 

I stood up taking my empty tray as I walked towards the dustbin. I dumped my tray as I turned around to see Bonnie still staring at the chair without eating a single bite from her lunch. 

"Hey Bonnie." I said slowly as she looked at me.

"What?" She asked rolling her eyes.

"Did you get any news from her?" I asked looking down.