The Boy In My Head

22

 "What?" Aline asks in disbelief. "He was just a dog, and that was, like, 10 years ago. You can't expect me to still be mad about that." "Let's just go, Aline," Trish says nervously as she pulls on Aline's wrist. Trish looks around the room at everyone staring at us. "I saw the picture of him in your house," I admit. "You loved Toby. You thought I wasn't there because I was getting my implant, didn't you?" Aline nods lightly. That's why she always hated me for my implant. Aline looks around the room like she can't believe we're having this conversation. "Okay, so I guess I was mad. We had a funeral and everything, and you weren't there." "I don't even recall you telling me he died," I say. "I vividly remember my mom talking to your mom on the phone about it, and then you just never showed up. Your family thought it was better that you got that implant than to be with your best friend in a time of need." I let out a breath of air in disbelief. "That wasn't it at all! I got the implant the day before. I remember because the date on that picture in your house was the same day my mom broke her tibia."

Aline blinks a few times in shock. There's a long pause where nobody makes a noise. "I'm so sorry," she finally says. "I don't know why no one ever told me. I don't know how I didn't realize." "I guess you never let me explain. You just stopped talking to me." We stand there in silence for a few seconds. It's so quiet in the lunch room that I wouldn't be surprised if you could literally hear a pin drop. "Truce?" I offer, sticking my hand out to her. She smiles nervously like she's unsure. Eventually, she shakes my hand. "Truce," she agrees. Whatever damage I did to her chance at homecoming representative, I think I've just redeemed her. The cool thing is that I'm perfectly happy with that. Afterward, the chatter in the lunchroom returns. Aline and I aren't exactly best friends, but at least we understand each other now. I set my food across from J.P. like normal, but today I scan the lunchroom instead of shy away from it. I spot some girls a few tables away and notice some empty seats near them. "Want to try a new spot today?" I ask J.P. He follows my gaze and gives a wide smile in agreement. We pick up our trays and make our way over to the empty chairs. A girl with pale skin and short red hair laughs with her friends and doesn't notice our approach. "Kaya?" I ask, tapping her on the shoulder. She looks up expectantly but has the same welcoming smile on her face as she did the first time I asked the question. "Do you mind if we sit here?" "No problem! We'd love to have more people at our table." J.P. and I exchange a smile as we sit down side by side at our new table. "Rachel," he says as he grips my hand underneath the table. My heart flutters at the gesture. I think about how Will used to make my heart swoon, but as I steal a glance over at his table, I only feel joy for the kindness he showed me. There's no room for lust in my heart. I look back at J.P. and realize how much sense it makes the he was Parker all along. How could I think it would be anyone else? J.P. has always cared about me and my feelings. How could I not see that? "I just wanted you to know that I'm really proud of you," J.P. says. I can't help but grin. "Thank you. I'm pretty proud of myself, too."

He goes back to his food, but his hand resituates so that his fingers entwine with mine. I squeeze his hand lightly and smile as I realize that this is only the beginning of our friendship.