The Boy In My Head

5

J.P. and I sit in silence at the lunch table. It's like this every day. He sometimes opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but he never does. Today, he keeps his eyes down and on his food. I let my eyes wander across the lunch room. I notice some kids glaring and pointing at me from a few tables away. The guy who picks his nose and sits alone at the table next to mine is staring at me funny. Even the genius kid who sits behind me in math has his eyes locked on me. It must be because of my new implant. It glows a slightly brighter blue on the back of my neck than everyone else's does. I casually reach up and pull out my elastic so my dark hair will conceal the implant. I'm not sure how casually I manage it as my eyes dart around the room uncomfortably. I'd rather look anywhere but at the group of kids staring at me. "Don't worry about them," J.P. says. "What?" I ask, turning back to him. "They're just jealous. They want the upgrade, too." I nod like I understand, but I really don't know why they needed to point and stare. "What about your upgrade?" I ask. "I don't have it yet. Remember?" Right. J.P. was part of this round's control group. Working at Verde didn't always have its privileges. They needed some people to look at the data objectively without testing it on themselves and getting biased feedback. J.P. used to get the upgrades the same time I did, but not since he started apprenticing with them at the beginning of the year. We sit in silence for another few minutes. It's only ever small talk with us, if that. In the silence, I think about what happened to me yesterday and briefly wonder what it means. After lunch, J.P. is headed straight for the Verde offices. It's part of the apprenticeship program where he gets to skip out on the last half of school and still get credit for working there. Perhaps , I think, he could look into it for me . "You have access to my data, right?" I ask J.P. boldly. Normally I wouldn't discuss private things like this with him, but the only alternative is to ask my dad, and I don't want to worry him. He nods as he touches the back of his neck. His fingers lightly brush the end of his dark brown hair, and his shirt tightens across his surprisingly muscular chest. For a long time, I thought he did this just to make sure his implant was still there or something, but I've learned it's just a habit of his. "Can you check mine today? Can you make sure everything is alright?" "Why?" he asks, a hint of alarm to his voice. "Is something wrong with your implant?" I think about the way it made me feel when I woke up after surgery. I can't place my finger on it, but something just didn't feel right. "No," I lie. "I just want to make sure everything is okay after that weird heart rate spike yesterday." J.P. doesn't have a chance to respond as cheers erupt from the other end of the cafeteria. We both look to see Will Dylan high-fiving his group of friends. Will is arguably the hottest, most popular guy in my grade, so when I say that he high-fived his friends, I basically mean his entire corner of the lunch room. People gather around him, but I can't see what's going on. Even some of the popular guys from the older grades crowd around his table. I can't help but lock my eyes onto Will. If I weren't such a reject in this school, I might have a chance with him. Just looking at him makes my insides go soft and my heart flutter. Aline Wright clings to his arm and smiles up at him like he's a god. I grit my teeth in annoyance. Arial and I were friends once. Then I got my first implant, and she turned everyone against me. That was back in first grade, but still, I can't help but hate her, seeing how my social status clearly never recovered. I don't know what all the cheering is about until Will turns and I notice the light blue glow on the back of his neck. It's lighter than everyone else's, except mine. How did he get an upgrade? "Randomly chosen," J.P. says, answering my unspoken question. "He was one of our randomly selected beta testers." "I don't get it," I say, narrowing my eyes. "I have the upgrade, too. Why are they cheering for him and not for me?"

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