Not The Victim

︎︎︎Chapter one

☁︎Chapter One

Everly Adams

"Okay. Okay! Oookay!" I said as I stood in front of the mirror checking over my appearance.

My first day of real school in a year and I was so nervous I thought I would blow up any moment. I was going to be a sophomore because I was homeschooled for my freshman year. I knew I was weird and i don't mean like homeschooled kid weird because well, I was always weird.

People like who i pretend to be. I pretend to be a lot of people to be completely honest. When I was around my friends' parents i was sweet and talkative and smiley. When I with my friends...well it depends on who they are but usually i just make jokes and try to make them laugh, I try to be personalized to them and their likings so they'll like me. When I'm at home with my family I'm quiet and 'moody' as my mother says. And when I talk to boys i act out going and as flirty as I allow.

How i act at school? I want to say what I used to be in 8th grade, which was a mixture of everything i just said and sometimes a bit rude. But things might be different and i just want to be happy with who I am. I want people to like me and remember me and admire me because I am a selfish person. You also might be wondering who am I when its just me? I have no fucking idea. I wish I could tell you. But it's just a bit complicated. Well, very complicated. I've been acting out different personalities for so long. I just don't know yet but maybe by the end of this book I will.

Today of course I want to look good and express my personality because many people seem to enjoy that. I'm wearing a white bandeau under a loose tank top covered in sunflowers and a pair of white shorts with a pair of tan colored gladiator shoes. I threw my long dark hair into two braids. Wait no- one yeah one to the side. Thats better. And last but certainly not least, makeup. I think I love makeup i mean I like to do cool things with eye makeup but I also have a thing for foundation and stuff because its an absolute must that a cover my acne scars. Insecurities... Ew.

I know I know, I shouldn't be self conscious because it what's on the inside, but quite frankly- i don't care! Being honest though I wear makeup because I want to. Not because I want to look good for people who don't care. I ain't like dat. So the makeup i put on is a nice even amount of foundation then some powder to make it not look so oily, then top eyeliner with the cat eye and then mascara. Cute.

I went downstairs quietly and grabbed a banana from the bowl and and juice box from the fridge then sat on the couch and pulled out my phone. I ate while I stared at tumblr reblogging fandom related crap. (I don't think its crap but others might) I was on Tumblr for about fifteen minutes before it was time to go. I walked outside to my dad's truck and sat down without a word. My dad was a simple man though I think he tries to hard to be a stereotypical family dad. It's incredibly annoying if you don't know what I'm talking about.

Once we arrived at school he said goodbye and good luck and I hopped out. I then greated the teacher happily and proceeded to walk. If there happened to be someone looking at me at this very moment what would they think? I thought that as I walked cutely because it could be a hot guy for all i know.

I stopped just before the entrance of the highschool lobby. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"You can do this Everly. You are a boss ass bitch and you are going to make today amazing." I mumbled to myself. Then I opened my eyes and then pushed the doors open.

As quietly and cutely as possible i walked to my locker and set it up. No one seemed to notice me in the unlit hall way but I couldn't help but be nervous. My chest was on fire along with my head. I was breathing hard trying to steady myself but this was a big deal! I know I'm freaking out and need to calm down but I just cant! Woah okay calm down Everly just get your shit together!

Okay my first class is...math. Great. I'm not horrible math i just hate sitting in a classroom taking about numbers for an hour. Which really doesn't everyone? I was super afraid i would go into the wrong class. I walked to where I thought the room might be, scanning each door. It was hard because there were so many people. It was a little awkward because I saw people I knew so yeah I smiled at them but they didn't smile back. Bitches. I laughed to myself about that thought.

I arrived at what I hoped was the right classroom and peeked in. I had no idea if this was the right room or not! I went to someone who looked somewhat trust worthy and asked them if this was math. He said yes so I sat wherever.

I looked around trying not to be noticed but I wanted to find someone I knew. No one. Or at least no one i actually wanted to have a conversation with. I tried looking cute and innocent in case anyone was looking. Thats kind of a bad habit of mine. I always feel like someone is watching me so I want to look good in case they are.

I seemed to sit alone for quite awhile waiting for a teacher to come, before someone plopped down next to me.

"Hey!" I turned and saw a girl i used to be friends with.

Her name was Jenna and we used to be super close before she got annoying. Shes a cheerleader with long brown hair, who's really fake in my opinion. I mean yeah sometimes you gotta fake it till you make it, but she annoys me. I could tell you more but its pretty basic.

"Hello Jenna!" I said happily. Oh daym looks like I can be fake to!

"I haven't seen you in forever where have you gone!?" She asked nudging me.

I mentally rolled my eyes and thought, well I was homeschooled because I hate people. Especially ones like you!

But of course i didn't say that.

"I've been super busy, you know being lazy!" I joked. Well I meant it but I'm going to pretend it was a joke so she'll change the subject.

She laughed softly then said, " and I really like your outfit you look so cute today!"

"Yeah I try!" Once again she probably thinks I'm joking but I'm not. I try VERY hard to look somewhat attractive because I think it matters.

I'm pretty sure she thought I was joking because once again she did a cutesy little giggle that made me want to barf. But hey, at least she was being nice.

After what felt like FOREVER the teacher finally came in and gave us a seating arrangement. I secretly like getting seating arrangements because it looks like I have friends. Is that weird? Eh I don't really care, I'll do what I please.