Not The Victim

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

        "I hate him but I trust you." Laney sighed.  she, like almost everyone else, hates Davis because of how he treated me before. We were sitting in the cafeteria finishing up lunch when I decided to bring up Friday...what? I'm excited okay? Actually I'm mostly nervous but I feel it helps to convince yourself its excitement, not nervousness.

        "Yeah I know you do, but I think this time will be different. Hey if it makes you feel better, if things go terribly I will totally let you abuse him in any way you'd like!" I said sarcastically. Well not really sarcastically but at the same time we both know she wont actually hurt him.

When lunch was over we walked to band together and hope I don't puke of nervousness. I always try to get to the door before just before Davis so he can see how cute I am and he'll follow me all to way to the band room anyway. Today however I was sadly way behind him, and okay yeah that was actually my fault because today I was just too... excited.

I walked up the shady staircase with Laney telling me a story of something that happened in her math class about a boy who spilled our teachers coffee, but while the story was funny, I was still daydreaming of Davis and I's 'Hi's'. I just have a hard time fathoming actually talking to him. 

               "Oh my god, that's fucking great." I said having nothing else to say. I just wanted to get band over with so it could be closer to Friday.Today is Thursday I have one day. Actually its twelve thirty right now so I have thirty hours until the half time show and thirty hours until I have to talk to him. My head cannot take this and where the fuck is my clarinet? Oh its in the other room, but Davis is in the other room I cant go in there until he leaves.

        And what do you know, class is starting and he's still not back so I guess I better risk it for the biscuit and go in. I opened the door slowly trying to get a good look of the room so I knew how to avoid him. I saw him standing in the back looking for his trombone. If I was quiet enough I could easily slip over to the shelf where I keep my clarinet and he'd never notice. Easy peasy right? Wrong. Because my instrument was so where to be found. I started to panic and hurriedly searched the shelf, but froze when i heard him turn around. He found his instrument and was looking at me. I was paralyzed, my legs locked up and my eyes were strained forward. I knew I would look like a creep if I just kept staring forward so I pretended to look and of course when I looked all the way up to the top shelf I saw my case. I reached for it naturally but I knew I was too short. I stood higher, only focusing on getting that case without looking like a fool. It was just too high. With a snap I came back to my senses and felt him right behind me. Now I was completely locked. He took a step to he side of me, so I looked up at the case to avoid eye contact. He reached up, grabbed the case and slowly handed it to me then walked off. Once I was able to breathe I managed to make my way back into the class.

        So yes, of course I told Laney what had just happened and all she managed to say was "Holy shit." which is exactly what i had been thinking this whole time, I just hadn't managed the words. The whole rest of band I could barely march correctly because I was thinking about what just happened. If I got this nervous just because he gave me my case, how am I ever going to survive him actually talking to me. Oh my god I'm going to die I guess.

        Arriving home already on my phone as usual, Davis didn't fail to remind me about our phone call that was planned for tomorrow. How could I forget? I walked upstairs to my room thinking, maybe and just maybe, my life could get better. Its been the same thing ever year for me. I'm just so ready for a change it pains me.