Let Me Love You

Chapter 5

"Alex?" she whispered, after their breathing had finally returned to normal.

"Hmm?" he hummed back, continuing to stroke the side of her face with the back of his hand.

She glanced down to where her fingers were tracing shapes on his chest. "Why did you give me your mother's ring?"

His lips turned up into a tiny smile as he reached down to take her left hand in his. He fiddled with the beautiful diamond, suddenly deep in thought. After several moments, she glanced up to see his expression soft and dreamy, though she didn't miss the haunted look in his eyes. His smile faltered a bit before he smiled widely at her and pulled her hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to her palm just below the ring.

"You remind me so much of her. She was strong and stubborn. But she was gentle and loving too," he said softly. She watched him carefully, in awe of him. She had never seen him like this. So many unanswered questions and conflicted feelings in his eyes. There was so much about him that she didn't know yet but was suddenly desperate to discover.

He swallowed hard before continuing, that same haunted look creeping back into his expression. "About a week before she passed away, she brought this to me..." he said, turning the ring around and around her finger. "... and told me that one day, I would find someone who would make me smile. Who would make me happy. And she told me that when I found her, I should give her this ring."

Norma's eyes were wide as she stared at him in disbelief. She shook her head softly, glancing down at their hands. "But it wasn't real then. You gave me her ring before you knew how I felt about you," she whispered, avoiding his eyes.

He leaned toward her, placing a soft kiss to her forehead and breathed in her scent. Her eyes fluttered closed as she relaxed into his embrace.

"It didn't matter. There was never anyone else. And there never will be," he said simply.

She squeezed him tighter against her, desperately trying to be as close to him as possible. She threw her leg over his hip and clung to him like her life depended on it, shaking her head to clear the demons that were quickly surfacing. He shifted to lie on his back and pulled her on top of him. Cupping her cheeks, he brought her face up so he could look her in the eyes.

"I'm never going to leave you, Norma. I know you're scared but you don't need to be. My life means nothing without you," he said seriously, watching the tears form in her eyes.

Her breathing quickened and he could feel her body tremble on top of him.

"What is it?" he whispered, stroking her cheek softly.

She leaned in to brush her lips against his. "Alex," she whispered, shaking her head slowly.
"Talk to me. Please," he sighed, closing his eyes. Suppressing a shudder at the feel of her lips against his, her breath washing over his skin.

"I don't want this to be over, Alex."

He pulled back, his brows knitting together in confusion. "It doesn't have to be."

The tears fell slowly as she stared at him. "You don't know that."

"Yes I do," he said firmly. "Why don't you trust me?"

Her eyes closed and she pressed her forehead into his chest. Her hands came up to cover her face and she let the tears fall steady. "I do, Alex. I trust you more than anyone."

"Then why are you so convinced I'm going to leave you? What could be so horrible that would make me do that?" He stared up at the ceiling, running his fingers up and down her spine.

"I slept with my brother!" she sobbed out before she could stop herself. "I was teenager. It was a long time ago."

His whole body tensed and he stopped moving completely. He was sure he hadn't heard her correctly but waited for her to continue.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry to have to tell you this. He's Dylan's father," she whispered.

He swallowed hard before speaking, not trusting his voice. "Th-the guy that I had dinner with?" he stuttered, his gaze locked on the light fixture above. She nodded against his chest, sniffling softly. "Caleb, yeah," she answered.

He stayed completely still and wracked his brain for something to say. Anything. He had promised that she could trust him and he knew he had already made her unsure. "Norma, y-you were young. It was a mistake."

"Mistake, it was not a mistake. It happened for years. I loved him," she replied immediately. "Our home life was a torture, and we were all we had... I finally tried to stop it and um, he got really upset and he raped me." Her tone was flat; her voice cold and distant. After a few moments, she raised herself up on his chest to look him in the eye. "You know how horrible it is to be raped by someone you love?"

His heart broke as he saw the pain in her eyes. He wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and keep her safe forever. To pull her back against his chest and soothe her fears. But he wanted her to finish. He wanted her to get everything out and never have to think about it or worry about it again for the rest of her life.

"And I hate him. I hate him, I hate him, but I don't hate him enough... to hurt him... And... And it's a mess because I don't know if part of why I hate Caleb so much, is because I hate myself." She sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "All in a day's work," she scoffed with a hollow look in her eyes and he could feel her slipping away from him. She thought he was going to leave. How could he not? Who would want to be with her after all of this?

"So now you know who you're married to. And I should have told you before, but I've never loved anyone enough to feel obligated to be honest with them." She noticed the shift in his eyes when she said she loved him but she couldn't pinpoint what he was feeling. A tiny part of her began to feel hopeful but she pushed it away, knowing that if he rejected her, it would only hurt that much more.

Suddenly, she shifted off of him, coming to sit on the edge of the couch beside him. She fiddled with the bottom of her dress, staring at her hands as she felt the tears begin to fall. He remained silent but watched her intently.

His eyes flickered down to where she was scratching the scar on her thigh just as she turned to face him. Her heart sank as she followed his gaze and she ran her fingers over it absentmindedly. No point in hiding it anymore. "One day when my brother was doing things to me, our dad came home and I got so scared and jumped up so fast that I knocked over the ironing board and the iron fell on my leg," she said, her voice quivering as she spoke.

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. This was so much worse than he ever could have imagined.

"Just go pack your bags," she sighed, her head falling into her hands.

His hands itched to reach for her and he knew in that moment that his decision was made. He knew the moment she began her story; nothing would ever make him change his mind about her.

"Okay," he whispered more to himself than anything and he heard her sharp intake of breath as her shoulders fell. "Where are we going?"