Let Me Love You

Chapter 21

Norma laid in bed, staring at the wall as her phone buzzed beside her for the fifth time that morning. Days had gone by without a word spoken between them and she ached to hear his voice. He never left a voicemail and it irritated her more than she cared to admit. The least he could do was to let her hear his voice without giving him the satisfaction of answering his calls.

Before her brain could catch up with her, she was reaching for her phone. Holding it to her ear, she waited for him to speak.

"Norma?" he said softly, his voice immediately mending the crack he left in her heart.

She didn't respond, just clutched the phone tighter to her ear, squeezing her eyes shut tightly as she listened to the sound of his breath.

"Norma, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you. Can we please just talk about this?"

She released a shaky breath, a tear rolling silently down her cheek.

He sighed, waiting a few more seconds before speaking again.

"Baby, plea—", he began, but she hung up before he could finish, launching her phone across the room as hard as she could.

It clattered against the wall before falling to the floor, the screen splintering into a thousand pieces. She wrapped her arms around herself, her face pressing into the pillow as the sobs took over.

She didn't know how long she laid like that, unsure where to go from here. She hated him. Hated that he was the reason she was here in this lonely, empty house. Turning onto her side, she reached for the frame that sat on her bedside table, and a new wave of anguish took over as she stared at a 10-year old Norman, smiling widely at her. How had it come to this?

If she was completely honest with herself, she knew he wasn't the same little boy he used to be. Something had changed and she knew he wasn't right; that he needed help that she couldn't give him.

But it wasn't fair that Alex could come into her life and completely turn it upside down in a matter of weeks. He had no right to make a decision like that for her.

A loud knock on the front door snapped her out of the trance she was in. She crawled out of bed, making her way to the window beside her vanity and pulling the curtains back.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the familiar SUV parked beside the motel. Another harsh knock made her jump, and she dropped the curtain back into place to shield herself from the view.

"Norma!" she heard him call from the porch. She immediately ran to her mirror, wiping the tear stains from her cheeks and running her fingers through her hair to tame the mess.

As she stepped onto the top stair, she heard his key turning in the lock, the door opening a moment later. She stood frozen on the steps, her blood boiling at his audacity. How dare he come into her house without her permission.

The second door swung open and his eyes immediately met hers, stopping in his tracks when he saw her.

"I-I'm sorry, I thought you weren't going to answer the door," he stuttered as he took in her furious expression.

"So you thought that gave you the right to just come in?" she asked, her voice hoarse and her tone as cold as ice.

"Your phone was going straight to voicemail after you hung up. I was worried about you," he reasoned.

She sighed, walking down the rest of the way and sitting on the bottom step. "Yeah, I think it's broken..." she said sadly, staring down at her hands.

"Why?" he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

She looked up in time to see him rearrange his expression, hiding his smile.

"Because I broke it, Alex. Why are you here?" she asked exasperatedly.

He shook his head, walking over to sit beside her. "Because I want to talk about this. I haven't seen or heard from you in days and it's killing me."

She refused to look at him, though she could feel his gaze boring into her. "Then I guess you shouldn't have gone behind my back and committed my son to a fucking mental institution," she said, her voice oddly calm, despite her harsh words.

"Stop doing that," he sighed. "Stop blaming me without even thinking of it from my perspective."

She finally met his gaze, her eyes narrowing. "You had no right to make that decision."

"Yes, I did Norma. You're my wife. Your son is ill and needs help and I will always do what's in my power to keep you safe. I'm sorry you're mad at me but I'd rather have you mad than hurt."
She shot up, coming to stand in front of him. "He would never hurt me! Stop pretending like you know more about my son than I do!" she shouted.

"I'm not saying I know more about him. But I am saying that you might not be able to see the situation as clearly because you want to see the best in him. But I want you to be safe. And I want him to get better."

She stopped for a moment, shaking her head at him. "This is not about him and you know it. You've never liked him. You just wanted him out of the way."

He stood up, reaching out to grip the tops of her arms. "That's not true. You know me better than to think I would do any of this for my own sake."

She stared at him, her expression blank. "Actually, I don't."

"You don't mean that."

Her eyebrows raised, but otherwise her expression stayed the same.

His arms dropped back to his sides as he stared at her in disbelief. "After everything we've been through, you really think I want anything less than the best for you?"

She stepped around him, walking toward the front door and sighed out a heavy breath. "Look, we had a good run. You kept me company for a few months but we both knew it wasn't going to last. Why kid ourselves any longer?" she finished, opening the door and turning back to look at him expectantly.

He had seen her like this many times before. Knew this was her coping mechanism when things got too real. But he didn't believe one word she said. He knew she was just trying to hurt him before he could hurt her. His heart broke a little as he saw the glazed look in her eyes, the numbness taking over before she could show him how devastated she really was.

Suddenly he walked toward her, reaching around to push the door shut before pressing her back against it. His hands flew to her face, cupping her cheeks so she couldn't look away.

Her breath hitched when his body came into contact with hers. It felt so good to be close to him again.

"Stop," he whispered, lowering his eyes to her level and staring at her so intensely that she had to look away. "Stop pushing me away. You know I'm not going anywhere," he said, stronger this time. He tucked his finger under her chin, raising her face up so she had to meet his gaze again.

Her lip trembled as she stared at him, her body relaxing a little as she gave up trying to fight him.

"Let me in," he whispered, lowering his mouth to her ear, his lips brushing the lobe. Her eyes fell shut, her hands coming up to rest against his chest.

His hands dropped to her hips, pulling her against him and wrapped her up tightly. She stayed still, neither pushing him away nor hugging him back and he sighed out a relieved breath when she didn't resist him.

She breathed in his scent, committing it to memory before her eyes opened and she pushed against him. "Don't touch me, please."

Immediately, he released her. He would never touch her against his will, as much as it killed him to let her go. He stepped back, meeting her gaze again. That same icy glare was back, and he knew what was about to happen. A lump formed in his throat as he silently begged her not to say it.

She reached behind her again, maintaining eye contact as she opened the door for him. "I need you to leave," she said, her voice strong and unwavering.

A moment passed before he could move, before he could even think. He slowly reached into his pocket, fishing out the key to her house and handing it to her before walking out the front door.