Let Me Love You

Chapter 20

Alex sat in his house, clutching the phone tightly in his hand. He knew what he had to do, but he also knew what it would mean when he did it. He had to tell her... And she would never forgive him.

The phone rang twice, the tone in her voice completely conflicting with the emotions he was feeling now. "Hi hun," Norma said, her voice soft and sincere. "I miss you," she continued when there was a slight pause on his end.

"Yeah, me too," he replied, the sorrow in his voice unmistakable.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

His head fell into his hands, a lump in his throat that made speaking impossible.

"Alex?" she pressed when there was no response. He drew the phone closer to his ear, desperately trying to commit her voice to memory, knowing it might be the last time they spoke.

But, it couldn't end this way. He had to see her. "I need to tell you something. And I don't want to do it on the phone," he finally managed. Maybe he could make a stronger case when he was in front of her. Maybe she'd hear him out.

"Okay..." she said, a slight distance in her voice already. Maybe not, he thought.

"Can I come over?" he asked.

"Of course, I'll be in room 1," she said.

"Alright, see you in 10." He hung up immediately, taking one last sip of his whiskey before heading out the door.

***

He pulled up to the motel; the crunch of the gravel loud enough to be heard through the door of room 1. Norma threw open the door just as he stepped out of his SUV. She smiled widely, waiting as he made his way toward her.

"Hi," she said, leaning forward when he was finally within reach and wrapping her arms around his neck.

He hugged her as tightly as he could manage, breathing in her scent. She gasped as his arms constricted around her waist, making it a little difficult to breathe. He walked her backwards, kicking the door shut behind him and pulling back to kiss her fiercely.

She moaned, her hands reaching around to the front of his shirt. He reached out, stilling her fingers as she moved to open the second button.

Pulling back to stare into his eyes, she waited for him to speak.

"I love you... I want you to know that," he finally whispered, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear.

She stared at him in confusion. "I know... I love you too," she said, smiling softly at him. When he didn't return her smile, she reached up to cradle his face in her hands. "What's going on? You're scaring me."

He sighed, reaching up to pull her hands away from his face. He stepped around her, walking further into the room to sit down on the bed.

She turned to watch him, her heart beating wildly as she finally felt the severity of the situation.

"I'm going to tell you something and I just need you to hear me out. Please don't throw me out until I'm done," he said, his back still turned to her.

She took a deep, steadying breath. "Okay," she finally responded.

He stood from the bed, turning to look at her. "I recommitted Norman into Pineview."

Watching as the blood drained from her face, Alex waited for her response. Her jaw clenched, the anger in her eyes visible from where he was standing.

He could tell she was waiting for him to continue. To explain himself, so he took a step toward her. To his relief, she didn't retreat.

"I'm just so terrified. All the time. I'm so afraid he will hurt you and I know you don't believe he will, but you didn't see the look he gave me the other night. You didn't see the rage in his eyes... He wasn't himself. It was like he went away. Like something else took over. And I just couldn't live with myself if I just sat back and did nothing. If anything ever happened to you, I couldn't go on. You are my whole life and I just need you to be safe..."

He glanced down to see her hand shaking. He could tell that she hadn't absorbed any of the words he said. She hated him and there was nothing he could do about it.

"Are you done?" she finally asked.

He could only nod, his expression pleading. His heart broke as he saw the finality in her eyes. This was it.

"Then get the fuck out," she said, tears gleaming in her eyes.

"Norma..." he choked out.

She continued to glare at him, her decision made. She would say no more.

He made his way around the bed, standing directly in front of her and taking her hand in his.

She snatched it away as quickly as she could. "GET OUT!" she screamed.

He stared at her for a moment more, memorizing every feature of her face. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he turned away, reaching for the doorknob and leaving without a backward glance.

She listened as the crunch of tires on gravel faded into nothingness, dissolving into tears against the cold, lonely floor of the motel room.