Let Me Love You

Chapter 12

He knew he was dreaming. Was very familiar with this dream. The kind that left you paralyzed, useless, as you relived that moment which broke you so many years ago. He couldn't shake the torment that paralyzed his body as she sat so still in front of him, her eyes glazed over. He was powerless to stop what he knew she was about to do. Frozen in the middle of the room as he watched his mother raise the handful of pills to her lips.

"Mom," he called out to her, his voice echoing through the room, though she ignored him. Or maybe she couldn't hear him. Had he really said anything at all? His lips felt heavy and his words were muffled when he spoke again.

"Stop!" She was oblivious to his presence, her body collapsing to the floor in seconds, limp and lifeless. He squeezed his eyes shut against the tears that felt like acid, burning him. Falling to his knees, he began to crawl toward her but stopped dead in his tracks when he realized it wasn't his mother's corpse before him. When his eyes adjusted, he could finally see those familiar blonde curls splayed out around her peaceful face. He couldn't breathe as he scrambled to her side. "Norma?" he sobbed. "Baby, wake up," he whispered, reaching for her hand, but feeling it dissolve as her body turned to ash the moment he made contact. "Baby, come on. You're okay, you're okay," he cried hopelessly as he gathered her ashes into his arms.

"Alex," she called through the haze, her voice a million miles away. He whipped around, trying desperately to find her.

"Alex."

He jumped to his feet, running down the hall. "Norma, where are you?" he called out.

"Honey, I'm right here," she whispered, her voice so close, he could feel her breath on his skin. He spun around, gasping with relief when he finally saw her. Her eyes were clouded, the once vivid blue, now closer to white. He reached for her, but his hand passed through her body and she disappeared only seconds later. "Norma," he sobbed, keeling over in anguish and falling to the floor.

**

He sat up suddenly, his eyes flying open as he gasped for breath.

She wrapped her arms around his upper body as his head fell into his hands. "It's okay. I'm here, I'm here," she whispered, rubbing his back slowly. "I'm here, honey. You're okay, everything's okay."

She fought back the tears that were suddenly choking her. It was excruciating to see him so afraid, so weak.

After what felt like a lifetime, he finally straightened up, taking a deep, steadying breath before turning back to her.

Her hands found his face, wiping the tears from his cheeks. "Oh baby, I'm so sorry," she sighed, pressing her forehead to his.

"Norma?" he whispered.

"It's me baby. I'm here."

His shoulders relaxed as he slowly came back to reality and his arms twined around her waist. After a few moments, his fingers dug into the skin of her lower back and he pulled her towards him, kissing her fiercely.

"Alex," she mumbled against his lips. A mumble that was initially intended to soothe him, but when he pulled her beneath him and spread out on top of her, she couldn't help but wrap her limbs around him. It was only when he began to climb down her body, pushing up the silk skirt of her nightgown as he went, that she came back to her senses.

"Alex," she breathed, in an attempt to get his attention. He continued on, though, sliding the material up over her stomach, clearly mistaking her resistance for desire. "Alex," she tried again and he looked up at her with an expression so broken and devastated that it stopped her dead in her tracks.