Helping The Lost (Destiel)

Chapter 10: The weekend

WARNINGS AT BOTTOM

-Dean POV-

"Call me if you need anything Dean. Anything." Cas said sternly, as I was about to exit his car.

"I will, Cas. See ya' Monday."

As soon as I realized John wasn't home I ran upstairs, changing out of my school clothes and into a pair of grey basketball shorts and a yellow short sleeved shirt.

I glanced towards the bathroom door, knowing exactly what I was gonna do... or what I wanted to do.

I hadn't cut in a few days. My longest clean streak was 2 months, so breaking it now wouldn't be that disappointing.

I tapped my foot quickly against the carpet, debating If I should watch Dr. Sexy or go into the bathroom and self-harm.

Deciding to go with the latter, I walked towards the bathroom, pulling the drawer out from under the sink and grabbing the small bag I keep the razor in.

I stared at it for a second in my hands, quickly unzipping the small red bag, and pulling out a small pencil sharpener blade.

Taking the blade between my index finger and thumb, I grind the blade into the left side of my wrist slowly, sighing deeply.

Apparently I got a little to carried away with the blade, because the next thing I knew my vision went black.
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When I opened my eyes Sammy was standing over me, eyes filled with tears and my phone to his ear.

"Cas! He just woke up! Get here quick!" Sam said excitedly. He still had the flu has gotten progressively better since it started. 

"Sammy..." My voice sounded like I smoke a pack a day.

"Dean! What happened here?? Bobby dropped me off and you were in here... Your wrist... Dean..." Sams voice cracked, small tears running down his face. "I called Cas, he's on his way!"

That seem to have made me wake up more, I rushed to stand, my vision going black once again.

This time when I woke Cas was hovered over me, now- inatead of the bathroom floor- I was laying on my bed,

"Hello, Dean." He whispered,

"I don't feel good, Cas." He frowned at me, his eyebrows furrowing. "Where's Sammy?"

"Sam's downstairs... I told him to wait in the living room and i know you don't feel well Dean, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you. I could tell you weren't okay.. i-im so sorry, Dean."

"Not your fault." Cas looked down at my still exposed wrist, shaking his head.

"I should have known though, Dean. I care for you dearly, I should have noticed that signs... I thought.. at one point- maybe..."

"It's okay, Cas. Really. I'm not exactly good at showing how I feel."

His eyes looked down into mine, blue searching green,

"I'll bandage your arm, Dean. Then we'll talk about what to do."

I nod solemnly, not having the energy to fight him on this.

"Do you have a first aid kit?"

"Nah, but we got guaze, Band-Aids, rubbing alcohol and medical tape, all in the cabinet next to the mirror." Cas nods, walking towards the bathroom I was just passed out in.

When he comes back he's carrying the medical tape, guaze, a clean rag and the rubbing alcohol.

"Sit against the head board, Dean."

Pushing myself against the head board cas comes and sits on the bed next to me, lightly grabbing my wrist and opening the rubbing alcohol.

"Now, bab- buddy, this is gonna hurt. Just hold onto my shoulders."

Cas dumped a little bit of rubbing alcohol onto the rag, motioning me to grab his shoulder.

As soon as the rag was on my arm I hissed through me teeth, my head falling on Cas' shoulder and my hand squeezing his arm tight.

After Cas rubbed away the dry blood and cleaned the cuts he set the rag down and picked up the guaze, wrapping it around my wrist and taping the loose end.

"There you go, Dean." Cas whispered, leaning against me lightly.

"Thanks Cas." I mumbled, smushing my face into his neck and breathing deeply. "I didn't... Hurt myself so much on purpose... Just got caught up..." Cas nodded against me, his face resting on my neck and the tips of his fingers in my hair.

"I'm just happy you're still here..." I pulled back slightly, arms still around him.

I looked up into his blue eyes, they were surrounded by red. I glanced down at his lips, then back at his eyes.

"I'm glad you're here with me."

Cas leaned in this eyes searching mine before planting his lips against mine.

His hand slid further into the hair at the nape of my neck, a light moan came from Cas, and in that moment I forgot: He's was my teacher.

It felt like I didn't care though, pushing further into Cas' lips and gripping his shirt in my fist.

"Cas..." I mumble against his lips, Cas just responded with a moan, laying me down on the bed and hovering over me.

Footsteps were heard coming up the stairs, pulling away from Cas quickly I stood up, walking towards my open bedroom door.

"Dean!" Sam came running up to me, his arms coming around my stomach. "Why- did you do that Dean? God. I couldda lost you!" Sam said, stuffing his face into my chest, getting my shirt slightly wet with his tears.

"'m sorry, Sammy. Promise you I won't try anything again."

Cas cleared his throat from behind us,

"I'm sorry to interrupt but I need to talk to Dean for a second longer,"

Sammy nodded against my chest, pulling away and turning towards the door,

"I'll come downstairs when we're done talking Sammy."

Hopefully dad doesn't come home until tomorrow

"I think we should talk about why you self harmed Dean, and what we should do about it."

"I did it because I needed to feel something other than self hatred, and it's not like it's the first time it's happened, Cas... Maybe you could talk to Crowley about staying with me after school once and while and we can just talk, but please... Don't tell anyone... People already think I'm crazy."

Cas opened his mouth to say something, before stopping and huffing. "I'm already keeping so many secrets for you, Dean. I can't promise that I'll be able to keep them if something bad happens again." Cas pauses, looking down, "I'll try to, Dean.. only if you try to talk to me when you feel like.... Cutting... Or if your dad does something. Promise me, Dean."

I nod quickly, stepping forward towards Cas. "I promise."

Cas opens his arms, stepping forward again I wrap my arms around his neck, rubbing my face into his neck,

"You're really good at giving hugs," I say, tracing his shoulder blade with the tip of my index finger,

He just laughs and put his hand on the small of my back, rubbing his thumb  back and forth.

"I really care about you, Dean. I don't want you to hurt yourself anymore."

"It's not that easy, Cas... But I'd try. For you."
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WARNINGS FOR SELFHARM

A/n:

ayEEEE was pretty sad ik but they kisssseeeedddddddd

I didn't mean for it to go this way originally but youknow
Things change

THNX FOR 200 VIEWS HOPE YOURE ACTUALLY LIKING THIS!!!
K I'm sorry
Adios