Alikabok

Paunang Salita

Sabi ng iba ang isang katulad ko ay dapat na sumasama kung saan ako nababagay. Sa lugar kung saan kapareho ko ang makakasama ko. I am so obedient that's why I followed their advice.

I stayed on an orphanage which my parents' has been handling since I was born. I grew up with those kids who were abandoned by their parents, abused, and kids who were lost and needed to be found. I always befriend everyone who's entering this facility that's why I can say that I have a lot of friends. Yung iba, kasabay ko nang lumaki ,to the point na ilang araw akong iyak nang iyak kapag inampon na sila. Parang kapatid ko na silang lahat, at ganoon din sila sa akin.

But still, all my life, I was hiding on my parents' shadow. I've been so scared to try what the world has been offering me since I was a child. I was so afraid that I might disappoint everyone, that I might disappoint myself.

Sa loob ng dalawang dekada kong pamumuhay sa mundong ibabaw, I can say that my life has been so boring. As in, buti nga hindi umabot sa punto na sa sobrag pagka-bored ko ay maisipan kong tapusin ang buhay ko. Hindi iyan pumasok sa isip ko maliban sa oras na ito.

I'm not saying that they failed to give me a happy life. I was. I was happy. But right at this moment, the feeling of emptiness has been lingering all over my body. There's a pain and heaviness in my chest that I couldn't contain anymore. I don't know where it came from or how it started. But there's only one thing I knew, I want to rest, forever. 

Pero bago iyan, nais ko muna sanang malaman kung anong nangyari. Anong nangyari sa akin? Nais kong balikan ang lahat, ang masasaya na ngayon ay ala-ala na lamang.....

Then, the next thing I knew, I slid blade on my pulse when someone slapped me so hard and everything went dark.

Next...

Hi, here I am again, attempting to try this field again. I hope I can have the courage this time. God bless us all. To God be all the Glory.

Love,
Me

PS: Please bear with me. Thanks. XOXO.