Lost In Pain

Prologue

Voices. Screaming. Whispering. Shouting. Crying.
They're everywhere. 

The smell of rotten wood is hanging around. It gives a comforting feeling. 
The rope already hangs on the ceiling. 
The loop looks almost artistic. 
My fingers curl around the rope. Slowly I pull it over my head. It feels weird but good. 
I take the ending of the rope and pull it. My feet slowly came from the ground. 
My mind was totally empty. 
I pulled harder. I could feel my head turning purple. 
When I was about to pull a last and final time, the hook were my rope hing broke and fell down. 
My head hurted. 

I laid still on the ground. Tears rolled out of my eyes. 

Why can't fate let me die?

The smell of ashes filled my nose. After laying still for maybe an hour I finally stand up. 
Flames blew through the wood. The orange flames were satisfying to look at. It made me want to watch them burn me down. 
I spread my arms and closed my eyes. 
'Burn me down', I whispered.
It didn't happen, of course. 
I opened my eyes and saw the flames moving away. At least that's how it looked.
Just in a matter of time my mind started to go crazy.
'Mom and dad!' 
I ran through the door. The flames on the other side were really warm. I felt it burning on my skin.
Without thinking I ran through it. My clothes caught fire so I stripped down to my underwear as fast as I could while running.
'Mom? Dad?' My voice died in the sound of the fire. 
I kept running. 
After running like crazy I finally reached their room. I smashed the door down with my bare foot. The sea of flames was unbelievable. I couldn't see anything. 
In the corner of the hook laid a shoe. I walked through the fire and pulled it. First a hand appeared and than a whole body.
'Mom?' Tears were running down my face. It dripped on the burnt body of my mom. I almost couln't recognize her. I pulled the body to the right of what was supposed to be the bed. 
I went searching for my dad. My hands moved through the fire. I felt my skin burning to the bone. 
I almost couldn't breathe anymore but I kept searching. On the ground next to the bed laid the body of my dad. Burnt down. In his arms he was holding my little sister. She also was burned.
I pulled my dad and sister to the same side as where my mother laid. 
I held them close to me as the fire came for me. Slowly I closed my eyes. The tears rolled down my face. Out of my closed eyes. 
It suprised me of how long I was still conscious. 
I think I sat down for maybe a minute but it felt like an hour. 
Big arms made their way through the fire. 
'Anyone alive?' A deep muffled voice asked.
I couldn't move. My body was stiffened. 

I felt the arms grabbing me.
'She's still alive! We found a survivor, get her out of here!' The voices sounded so far away. 
The smoke hung around me. My longs were filled with smoke and ashes but I could not cough. 
My arms tried to reach for my parents but the arms that were holding me carried me away. 
I couldn't move anymore and suddently everything went black.

That night I wanted to die.
And everyone in my house did died, except or me.
But a part of me died too.