Lost In Pain

Chapter 4

The sound of a knock on the door made us stop our moment. I stepped out of the bed and opened the door. A strange man handed me a letter.
'To Magali'
I thanked the man and closed the door. I had a strange feeling about the letter but that didn't stop me from reading it.
But as soon as I took out the paper I realized it was a threat.
 
'Dear Magali,

I think your moment of shine is over. It's probably better for everyone if you leave. Some bad things might happen if you don't. Tought you wanted to know that.

Sincerely,
...'

I stood there in shock. Not knowing what to do. 
Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and I scared away. I laid a hand on my chest. 
'You scared me', I said to Shawn.
He formed the word "sorry" with his lips. 
I turned around to face him. He probably saw the look in my eyes because he asked: 'You okay?'
I nodded my head. 'Fine', I mumbled.
Shawn smiled sweet to me and went back to his room. I stayed in the living room. But after a few minutes I sat against the wall. 
What did I get myself into?
I think about an hour later I went to look for Shawn. He was asleep. I pulled the sheets over him so he wouldn't catch a cold. Quietly I pulled on my shoes and left his room. 
Right before I could open the door to the hallway the door of Shawn's room swung open. I almost got a heart attack.
The look on his face was so sad to see. He was sad and confused. Maybe even a glimpse of a tear.
'Why are you leaving? I thought everything was okay?' 
The letter slipped out of my hand and fell onto the ground. Shawns eyes followed the way of the letter to the ground. He picked it up and reached it out to me.
I shook my head. 'Read.'
I stared at his hands when he opened the letter. 
'Don't worry about it. I get these kind of messages everyday.' He forced a smile on his face and handed the letter back to me.
I shook my head. 'You don't get it', I looked him straight in the eyes ,'The last time I ignored a letter like this my house burned down. I can't just ignore it.'
He wrapped his arm around my waist. His touch tingled on my skin. 
'I'll stay with you the whole time. You'll be fine.'

He pressed me against his chest. I heard his heartbeat. 
'I want to leave. Leave New York.'
My voice was muted because my face was in his shirt. I pulled out of his grip. 
'I'm leaving New York.'
Shawn nodded. 
'You can come with me. I need to finish my tour so I need to get back on the road,' Shawn moved his hand to my back.
'No. You don't get it. I need to leave America.' I was getting nervous.
I ran away to the room. I opened his closet and started pulling out all the clothes. 
'I need to find some clothes. I can't be recognized.' I mumbled to myself.
As I undressed, the door went open. I didn't even turn around.
A huge pink sweater catched my eyes. I putted on the sweater. It was just above my knees. Perfect.
'I'm leaving. Right. Now!'
The room was a mess. I left it behind and went straight to the living room. 

Suddenly I felt a hand taking my wrist. 
'Calm down, Magali. Let me handle something.' His touch made me calm. 
I went to sit down on the couch and pulled the sweater over my knees. Slowly I closed my eyes and tried to make my heartbeat less wild.
Shawn sat down on the ground in front of me. 
'We can go to London.' He said softly.
I shook my head. 'Too obvious.'
My head laid on my knees as I was thinking. With a shock I pulled up my head.
'I know it!'
I started running around in the hotel room. Searching for a map. I opened every drawer and turned it upside down until I found it. 
I spread it out on the ground and pointed with the tip of my finger on Scotland.
'We're going to Scotland. Edinburgh.'
Shawn took out his phone and started walking around. He called someone but I don't know who. 
It looked like he finally realized how serious this is. 
He called about ten minutes long and after that he turned to me. 'The tour is cancelled. Andrew will get us two tickets to Edinburgh tomorrow morning.'
I jumped onto him. 'Thank you so much for helping me out. I really don't know how to thank you.'
His cheeks turned red. An adorable smile appeared.
'Kiss me. Right here, right now', he said looking deadly serious.
I felt my head turning red:' I..No..I..'
He laid his hand on my shoulder. 'I'm only joking. I would never command you to do something like that.'
I looked into his brown sweet eyes. My fingers touched his jawline. And suddenly I actually did pull him next to me. Our lips pressed onto each other. He smelled so good.
I played with his hair as our lips kept touching. The feeling of his lips turning into a smile made me smile too.
We both pulled back.
I started laughing and so did he. It felt amazing to laugh, it's been so long.
'I still hate you', I said with a huge grin on my face.
He answered: 'I bet you do.'

When we turned back to the room we came to the conclusion that it was one big mess. I helped Shawn packing his bags and before I realized it was already midnight. Time goes so fast.
We went to his room. 
'I'll sleep on the couch in the living room. You can have the room all for yourself.' He held my hand as he tucked me in.
'You're joking right?' The look on his face was priceless. 'Come on in!'
We laid in the bed with our faces turned to each other. 
'Can I use your phone please?' I asked while crawling closer to him.
He unlocked his phone and handed it over to me. 
Without looking I typed the number in. I wanted to call Lily.
...
No answer.
I tried again.
...
Still nothing.
Probably nothing to worry about.
I gave back the phone to Shawn and soon I fell asleep. 

The next morning I woke up to the sound of someone brushing his teeth.
'Good morning, sleeping beauty.' Shawn said while his mouth was covered in toothpaste.
I stayed silent. I might have been awake physical but mentally I wasn't there yet.
I got up from the bed and realized I was still wearing the pink sweater. 
Shawn came my way and kissed my forehead.
'We need to leave now if you want to be on time.'
I nodded and went to the bathroom. About five minutes later I was done and we left the hotel. On the way to his tour bus he tried to grab my hand but I pulled back.
'We can't do that. I want to stay anonymous. If I take your hand everyone will come after me.' I whispered to him.
I was glad when he seemed to understand it. 

After a five minute walk we arrived at his tour bus and as soon as we stepped inside the engine started. 

Shawn introduced me to everyone on the bus and we talked a bit. 
He went to the bathroom for I guess three times. When he came back I whispered to him: 'Are you nervous?'
'Is it that obvious?' We both laughed. 
Honestly I was relieved but also suprised when no one asked about us. About if we are a thing. Because I have a feeling that Shawn will say yes while I will say no. I don't like putting labels on people.

But besides that I did feel bad he needed to cancel his tour for my safety.
'Shawn, can we talk somewhere private?' I asked softly.
He took my hand and led me to a different place in the bus.
I sat down on the ground and he came to sit next to me.
'I can't help but feeling bad about your tour.' I laid my head on my knees. I felt how Shawns hand pinched mine.
'It's sad but if a fan was in a danger like that I would do the same. Don't think about it too much. I'll make it up to the fans.' 

I laid my head on his shoulder and we sat in silence for a bit. His lips touched my forehead.
There was a knock and slowly the door went open. 'We're almost there.'
Before any of us could answer the door was already closed.

The bus stopped and we all got out.
It was a grey day today. The clouds looked like it could start raining every moment. 
This time I did grabbed Shawns hand.
'I'm scared.' I whispered to him.
'Don't be.' Our fingers touched each other. 
The airport was empty. Seems like Shawns crew kept it all a secret. Good.
We checked in and got onto the plane not leaving each others side one time.
He was nervous. I was scared. We kept each other in balance.

There was a deadly silence in the plane. Shawn and I were surrounded by his guards but that didn't explain the silence.
'I don't like this fucking silence.' I mumbled. I slowly felt how my attitude came back. 
The plane wasn't even started yet or Shawns phone went off.
He talked a really long time and then he handed it over to me. I recognized the voice on the phone but I didn't know who it was. The woman started talking but I didn't really listen.
I still didn't listen until I heard that one sentence. A sentence I wish I never heard.
I dropped the phone and let go Shawns hand. I felt empty. No sadness, no madness, no happiness. Nothing. Just emptiness.
I couldn't cry.
My hands were cold. And that's exactly how my heart felt too.
I couldn't hear, see, or smell anymore. I couldn't feel anything.
It felt like I was slowly dying. Slowly but fast at the same time.

'Lily Reeves died...'