Anne

Chapter 5

It's been the coldest and the longest winter I've ever experienced in my entire life! If I counted right it's been six months since my babies birth and six months since the coldest winter started. I've spent the whole winter inside I had to mush up the left over deer meat for Lilly and James but they need vegetables because I want them to be strong and healthy, so I wrap them both up with a bunch of clothes so they stay warm I grab a coat that lady used to own it's soft and warm I walk out side the sun is out but a brisk wind is cutting my face Lilly starts crying which makes James cry I start to bounce them a little bit which calms them down a bit. I still have my purse of knifes just in case anything happens. I finally enter the city I see someone carrying a big purse that looks like would have lots of money in it.

I construct something to put my children under I grab some sticks I stick them in the snow so they are nice and stable, I put my big fur coat over the sticks and my children under neath the little tent I've just made "Mother will be right back." I reassure them I walk away and I pull out my knife it's been so long since I killed a person I hope I'm still good.

I walk up to the lady and I stab her in the back blood pours out I hear her gasp and she falls to the ground. I start to slash her back about ten times then once in the back of her head, blood is everywhere. I take her purse and I open it she has five dollars wow! I could buy a whole garden for this much! I go back to the little tent where I hid my children when I open it they are shivering but are laughing I smile at them and I put my coat on and I cradle both of them in my arms "Someday you'll be the ones killing," I whisper to them they both laugh again.

I walk over to the market and no ones around so why spend my money when I can just grab these carrots and go? I do exactly that and I run home so no one sees me I hear someone screaming, they probably found the dead woman on the ground "Izzy!" They scream I start to laugh I love it when people find a dead body and they themselves die a little inside it's the greatest.

I quickly walk back to the cabin, I open the door and it's freezing so I grab some wood and matches and I start a fire.I put down Lilly and James by the fire so they'll warm up I go over and I grab a bowl filled with well water and I clean off the carrots and I start to mush them I start to remember mushing those sailors dead bodies and how fun it was feeling the mused up flesh. I start laughing Lilly and James both look at me confused "Oh my wonderful children you'll know everything when your a little bit older." I smile at them and I give them the carrots and they eat it all.

I go out side leaving them to a nap I go out to the city because for really no reason I'm pissed the fuck off at life why is it so fucking hard why do I have to worry about all this new shit I didn't have to worry about three years ago? What the hell is wrong with me why is all this happening is just don't understand why, why does this fucking world hate me? It all started with my father and it's all gone down hill from that wretched morning.

That paster said everything will be just fine but he lied that fucking cock sucker lied to me! I enter the city and I find a very well dressed man probably looking for a escort.

I jump on his back and I cover his mouth and I stab threw his mouth I remove my hand and he falls to the ground and I stab him in the back three times then to end it all I lift up his head and I start to bash it against a brick blood spewing everywhere I get some in my mouth it taste sweet but salty I love that taste. I pick up the brick and I smash it against the back of his head I stand back up and I dust my hands off. I run back to the cabin I need to get back to my children I hope they are okay.

I trip on a tree root I fall right on my face "Ow fuck!" I growl and I get up running until I reach the cabin I sigh a happy sigh with a smile. I open the door to giggles I pull out my knife just in case but I find just the two laughing at each other oh my God they are adorable I pick them both up and cuddle with them until they fall asleep again they are such happy babies even though they came out of a terrible thing and a mother with a terrible past and they will grow up knowing the horrors that I had to go threw, they deserve to know.

They wake up about an hour later crying they probably want some milk so I take out my breast and I start to feed them when I feel a pinching pain in my left where Lilly is, I take them off and I look into her mouth and she has a tooth! her first tooth I look into James mouth and you can see a little tooth trying to grow. I start to laugh "My babies first tooth!" I start to laugh but then I realize I'll be spending all my children's firsts all by my self I get sad then I put them back into the crib and I get into my bed and sleep.

I don't sleep at all though I keep thinking about how I'm so alone now in this world they only people who will ever love me will be my children but that's enough love for me. I can't get close to anyone else because I'm scared I will be disappointed I can't trust anyone.