Stranger things / it oneshots

Fungay

"D..d..d ..dad can we talk"
"No"snarked Richie im doing stuff
"Dad please it's important"
"What is it"
"You know how you like dad"
"We are not divorcing if ya think that"
"No it's just .."
"Spit it out Stanley"
"I..I..I."
"Oh look Eddie Stan's saying his first word"Smiled Richie"Spit it out I have things to do"
"Im...i.ii."
"Get back to me when u think of it "
"IM GAY ok im gay jesus"
"What!? No son of mine is gay"
"B...b...b.."
"Go to your room"
"D..d..dad"
"NOW"

Later that day Eddie came home from his mother's with there youngest daughter Amy.
"Eddie spaghetti sit down please darling I have to talk to you"Amy go to your room please"
"Boi no im triggered"
"Go"
"Alright let me be alone but just to let you know I could die in my room and you'd not get to say bye so "
As Amy memed out of the room Eddie sat on the sofa.
"What's wrong"
"Stan"
"Well he's not ded because theres no balloons "
"He's gay"
"You didn't know?"
"What?"
"Come on his rooms basically fuccing rainbow"
"Well..."
"And what is the problem with being fungay"
"He's embarrassing me"
"How your fuccing the definition of gay"
Richie sat silence staring at the wall in confusion.
"Dad's I need to go to the park in meeting my boi and my goat "
"Sit down Amy"
"Byyeeee"
Amy slammed the door and walked away.
"Im surprised she's still alive "muttered Eddie.
"Same"
"Earth to dad's in going out bye"
"Stan wait heel sit"
"Im not a labradoodle "
"Biggest mistake of my life " stated Richie
"Who are u meeting?"questioned Eddie
"Bill"
"Boyfriend"asked Richie
"Noooooo" cried Stan blushing" just a crush"
"Ok byyyyeeeee"screamed Richie as Stan embarrassingly fled out the door like an unorganized pigeon.

At home the two dad's were sat awkward on the sofa contemplating selling the children for labradoodles.