I was about to finish the third season. I felt good, I was satisfied with my work. I met new people during these months but I had not been able to do what I was planning all the time.
I wanted to talk to Evan, he avoided me the whole time.
Perhaps Emma forbade him to talk to me, I don't know ... but this afternoon I was determined to do something about it, I would go to his trailer and would speak to him.
I didn't have to walk far, his trailer was close to the mine, I stood in front of the door and knocked three times. Evan opened. He was disheveled in a worn out shirt.
Evan: Hi Tai, What are you doing here?
Taissa: Hi ... Amm so ... I wanted to talk to you.
Evan: Sure, Come in, forgive the mess, you know I don't like to clean, make yourself comfortable. (He seemed in a good humor.)
I walk in the reduced space and I sat on a small couch, the trailer was a disaster. It smelled of alcohol, pizza and there were clothes everywhere.
Taissa: It seems that you spend a great time in here.
Evan: It is no big deal. I don’t know, I like my space, without anyone bothering me.
I guess he was right. I never saw Emma come here.
Taissa: Emma seems to be annoying you all the time. (I don't know how I was able to say that.)
Evan looked at me and smiled, one of those smiles that I always loved to see on his face.
Evan: It seems I'm not the only one who thinks that. (His voice was mocking)
Evan sat down at my side.
The couch was small, I don’t think it was designed for two or for one person. I rather think that they designed it for someone very fat. We were tight on the couch.
Evan looked me in the eyes and I remembered how it felt to have a heart inside of me, my heart beat loudly iside my chest, I felt the blood flowing through my veins.
Without thinking twice and regret it later, I took one of his hands without looking away from his eyes.
Taissa: I miss you ...
Evan: Sweetheart ... I ....
I recognized in his face some anxiety, fear and pain. With my other hand I touched his face.
Taissa: What happened? What's wrong with you? What about me? What about us? Our friendship it's gone. You don't call me and you don’t return my messages. You dodge my eyes, sometimes you don't even greet me. It is as if I don’t even exist for you.
Evan: It’s not like that ...
Taissa: So ... What is it? Did I do something wrong?
Evan: No! You didn’t! ... It’s Emma.
I knew it! Damn I knew it! That bitch had been the cause of the behavior of Evan with me ...
Taissa: Mmm ... (I took away my hands from him.)
Evan: But don't think it’s something else..It's just, Emma is very possessive and jealous.
If she found out that moment that you're here alone with me, she would probably yell at me and break up with me.
Taissa: But..What the hell are you talking about ? Evan? Do you listen to what you say?
Evan: Yes, I know, it sounds ridiculous ... (He lowered his gaze.)
I could hear the sadness in his words and that's what I did not understand.
He was sad ... Was he sad to be away from me? Or was he sad about Emma?
Taissa: You are sad ... what about?
Evan moved closer to me, almost ten inches from my face ... I want to kiss him.
Evan: You.
I looked at him confused.
Evan: What happens with me is that I keep thinking about you, at night and I spend the day thinking about you, and I wonder ... How many things would be different if I had made different choices?
Taissa: If you're so unhappy ... Why you're marrying her?
Evan: I'm not unhappy ...
Taissa: That’s not what it seems like.
Evan: I love her but lately her defects became more than her values!
Those words ... " I love her" ... They were sufficient to destroy me completely.
Taissa: Well ... I hope you don't get tired very soon of wiping the tears away ... Bye.
I got up holding back tears and I went to the door.
Evan: Taissa ! Wait ! What is wrong, sweetheart?
I did not want to turn, I did’t want him to see my eyes flooded with tears.
I opened the door and to top it off, Emma came toward the tráiler.
She killed me with her look, I didn't want problems so I hurried to pass by her until I was sufficiently far away but not very far to hear the cries from the trailer.
Emma: Why was Taissa here with you alone?
Evan: We were talking.
Emma: You know what I think?
Evan: No and I don't care.
That made me laugh.
Emma: I THINK YOU ARE FUCKING HER !!
Evan: That only happens in my dreams.
Emma: SON OF A BITCH!
Evan: You know that none of that happened ... I don't know how can I take this anymore. !!!
I listened as the door creaked and I ran up to my trailer, I would die of shame if any of them discovered me snooping around...
I thought a lot that night about Evan ... About his eyes and in the argument that he also had with Emma,as he dared to tell her who he dreamed of... In between imagining being with him I drifted off as I closed my eyes hoping to dream about him... ♥
