Broken Shreds

Chapter Eleven - Oh, These Desires

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❝Fear does not prevent death.
It prevents life.❞
— Buddha

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CHAPTER 11

> OLIVIA <

I'm frozen to my spot, shocked and feeling cold inside out. I register vaguely that it's starting to rain. Hard, fast, droplets are raining all over the asphalt, wetting it in only matter of seconds. I know I have to be drenched, too, though I feel nothing but astonishment at the moment. And maybe a tiny bit of hurt.

I bite my tongue and fight the urge to keep shouting his name, to beg him to come back.

Instead, I close my eyes and throw my head back, letting the rain whip my face directly. I can feel the wet, silky material of the dress clinging into my body but I don't care. He's gone yet again and I feel just like I did before him. Restless, almost vacant.

I clench my fists and find myself taking two steps towards the direction he'd left before I can stop myself. I want to run after him and... then what? I've already lost my cool by shouting after him like a lost, hurt puppy. And it doesn't help that I actually feel a lot like one. Going after him won't solve anything, I firmly tell myself.

My hair is wet, my dress is drenched and my coat does nothing at keeping the coldness at bay. I still can't stop looking to the shadows and soon enough, I'm shivering almost violently.

''Liv? What are you doing? Come inside before you get sick!''

Savannah's voice drags me out of my haze and I take a deep breath before turning around. She's watching me, her hands on her waist. She's been furious with me from the moment she saw me with Seven in the club just after we kissed.

The kiss.

My lips feel like they're burning and I can't stop myself from touching them with my fingertips. That damned kiss. I close my eyes and recall the way our tongues touched each other. I still taste him in my mouth, his unique, impossibly delicious taste. The way he had wrapped his hands in my hair, the way he had dominated my body - making it completely his in that single moment. His calloused fingers as he touched my face with them and the way they trailed down to my ass. The silent groans he let out - all the sounds I swallowed and now own. Yes. Own. He gave them to me and now they're mine. And that kiss - it's mine, too.

''Olivia!'' Savannah screams. I blanch and start to walk inside. My chest feels tight and I have to blink rapidly. He's gone. Again. I need to stop tormenting myself like this.

''He left. Good'', Savannah hisses as she closes the door behind me. I'm emboed by the warmth of the house and wrap my hands around myself, again. I'm looking at the brown carpet and suddenly feel like crying.

''Olivia'', Savannah whispers gently and huffs. ''He's not worth it. Forget him, please. He left and he's going to keep leaving. Men like him don't commit! You're just going to break your heart. Stop this before it goes any further, I'm begging you.''

I walk away from her and she let's out a sound I ignore. I just don't have it in me right now to fight with her. I know she's trying to keep me safe but I find it hard to care.

Seven is not a bad man and I refuse to believe otherwise. I don't care what Savannah says - he's been nothing but wonderful towards me. His face, it's embodied deep into my mind and for some very, very stupid reason, I want it to stay right there. Because the truth is, that man is slowly conquering my mind. I know close to nothing about him, yet here I am. There's not a second that goes by I don't think about him. My body - yeah, he owns it too. Every reaction that comes out of me when I'm with him, is his making. He... does things to me. Things that make me feel good. And when he's not around I feel different. Uneasy. Melancholy.