Hey guys, and girls.
I just thought I should apologise for how long it's taken me to write this chapter. Things have been pretty hectic at the moment so I haven't had time to sit down and write. The reason behind this is because as some of you may know I'm a musician. I write original music, sing and play guitar. Links to my music can be found on my profile. There's Youtube and Myspace account links set up on my Wattpad profile. Latley I've been writing a ton of new songs and playing at more open mic nights and bars and I also got through to the heats in this huge music talent competition.
I know I don't usually write these little paragraphs in each chapter like other people on Wattpad because I think they get kind of boring after a while, but if you'd like me to then leave a comment. I won't be hurt if you don't want me to =P So with that done; enjoy! :)
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21/08/09
Everyone's been asking me why I haven't been at school for a while. The last thing they'd guess is that Noah has been keeping me hostage. The whole cutting scene that happened in the bathroom days ago has made him really worried about what I would do if he let me go home. So now he's making me stay with him until he's sure I wont attempt anything stupid. I told Cameron and Hannah why I wasn't going out this weekend with them. Cameron got really jealous of Noah which was weird. I mean he was the one who told me it was all over any way. So why should he care? Hannah thought it was a great idea she knows how happy I am around Noah.
22/08/09
Diary,
It's only been a day without Noah around and I already feel so alone. He was keeping me together while I was falling apart. Now that he's not around to hold me together I'm losing the plot. I keep crying off and on. I'll be fine one moment just watching a movie or something, and then one little thing reminds me of Cameron and I just break down. Why is it when Noah's not around I instantly fall to pieces and all the happiness around me fades?
I watch scary movies now to make my life seem so much better. After all I'm not getting chased around by a mad man. I still have a life to live and I still have a chance to fix things right?
10:30am
Maybe I don't need to talk to anyone any more. I have myself. Bottling things up can make it easier for others. Sometimes we have to learn how to deal with things on our own. I'm sure Noah worries enough about me already than to know how I really feel inside. I know I can't erase what damage I've caused. I'm only human though and everyone makes mistakes. I may have just made a few huge ones. Whatever happens, happens. If Cameron doesn't want to be with me then it just wasn't meant to be. I have to remind myself this isn't a Disney fairytale; we don't all get happy endings. I don't know what to say any more, what to do, how to act. Sometimes I wonder if it would help to be far away from everything. What would happen if I left behind family and friends? I know running away is cowardly and the police would probably find me within a few days, but maybe it might buy me some time to think?
11:21am
I seem to be writing a lot today. I guess it's the depression thing. I'm glad to say I haven't had any urges of late. I've been watching King Kong. It made me feel terrible. There was a part in the movie where King Kong turns around and ignores Anne. She then tries to get Kong's attention back. It reminded me of myself so much trying to get Cameron back.
12:00pm
My Omar is really sick. I'm the only one who ever sees her any more. Nobody else wants to, not even her own son. I guess it's because she always talks about death. I have to admit it scares me half the time. She knows that she's going to die at any second. She doesn't want me to watch her die so she's pushing me away a bit. At the same time she still wants to see me as much as possible before she does die. I don't really know how to handle the whole situation. I guess I'll just watch it play out before me.
