13/08/09
I got a phone call last night. It was Mike. He told me he knew all about Cameron's text messages.
"I know what he's going to do, and I thought I should tell you before he hit you with it tomorrow."
"Sure, go ahead. My heart can't be broken any more then it already is."
"Your a good person Elise, you know you could do so much better. I'm sorry. I'm even more sorry I have to be the one to tell you this but, Cameron loves Celeste. He likes you but it's just not the same way he likes her. He's loved her for years. She's always rejected him and just recently she's began to warm up to him a bit. He might have a chance with her and he doesn't want to risk losing it. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Your such a lovely girl. But hey, maybe it's better this way. When he ends it than maybe you can go be happy with someone else. Or you could wait for him to come back around. It's up to you. I just know how much he's been confused these past months between the three of you. You, Ebony and then Celeste. Tomorrow when he breaks it to you, don't go off at him okay. Just think about the position he's in. He's torn between a life with you, which is really sensible to him. He knows that you'll wait for him no matter what. He just doesn't want to miss a chance with her, it might be the only chance he'll ever get."
"But he said he wanted to be with me, he promised..." my voice cracked and tears rolled down my face.
"I hate to tell you this, but I'm afraid I might have to. I don't know if I can handle keeping it from you any longer. He told me he felt like he'd just gotten himself engaged and he didn't know how to get himself out of it."
That's when I broke down. Everything he'd promised, everything he'd ever told me. It was all one big fat lie. It meant nothing to him at all. I wasn't his finance like he'd told me and my friends I was. I was nothing more than a simple person who loved him, who could give him a chance of a happy life, but he didn't want me. He'd always wanted her. Give up my own happiness for his. That was how it felt to me. Let go of everything to give him a chance at happiness which I would never have. All I knew was, if that Celeste girl didn't treat him right. She was a complete fool.
I went to school today and Cameron and I had a talk. We sat down at the same benches we did when he told me he wanted to be with me. It was quite funny really. To end something where it began. I cried in front of him and he didn't even care. Plus he didn't even have the guts to look at me when he told me he didn't want to be with me. It was stupid really, he could have saved so much time if he put me down right from the start.
"So were cool?" he asked smiling widely.
I shrugged and faked a smile.
"Yeah were cool."
He stood up and gave me a hand. I took it and he pulled me into a bear hug. We were back to square one again.
I called Noah in the afternoon and asked for his guidance. Like always he came over and sat with me. We only had two boxes of tissues left in the house, which I managed to use up within the first two hours. He walked with me to the small convenience store down the road and set several boxes on the counter. The lady who served us took one look at me and said "no charge." We laughed about it on the way home carrying eight boxes of tissues. Noah told me he didn't think I'd need that many, but I assured him we would. Turns out I didn't shed any more tears that night. Just being around him made me forget the pain. He like my personal morphine.
"Come stay with me for a while." he pleaded with big puppy dog eyes.
"How could I resist?" I giggled.
