Kyle's POV
Idk like a couple months time skip
Recess
"Stahn and Waendy need to hurry up and figure out what the fack they're gonna do with their fling!" Cartman's anger towards their relationship increases everyday. He's sick of Stan coming up to us everyday and telling something different has happened to them. And to be fair, I am too. One minute they'll be puckering up and then the next they'll be at each others throats.
People are always saying Gregory and I have the perfect relationship, and that it's 'goals' or whatever. I find that whole situation funny considering the only acts of intimacy we do in public is holding hands and calling each other 'babe' twice a week or whatever.
For once I actually agree with the fat bastard. Stan's being consumed by his relationship and it's hurting everyone. Including himself.
I've realised it doesn't matter how I feel, or how much I want him to drop Wendy. I don't want him to do it for my sake, I want him to do it for his sake, for Wendy's sake. I'm sure she's sick and tired of this whole ordeal too. After almost eight years she'd have to be.
Yet... I still haven't gotten over him. This is ridiculous! I thought this was just gonna be a stupid crush, but it's turned into something that's consuming my life, so I'm not really in a position to give relationship advice, am I?
God, I need to get laid.
"You guys, I havva idea!" Cartman's face is consumed by an evil smirk. Both Kenny and I look at him in confusion.
"Today after school, Wendy's having a sleepover at Stan's house," I nod along about as interested as I can force myself to act. "What if... we snuck in and crashed the par-tay without them knowing!"
"No fatass, that's retarded."
"Yeahiagree."
"You fucking joos, you too Keeny, your a fuckin joo. Guess I'll be the only one to find out a dark and mysterious secret!" Cartman dramatically flails his arms around, trying to be all extra.
"Wedontwannaknow,youcanfuckoff" Kenny replies, staring blankly at Cartman, then back down at his instant ramen.
"Knock yourself out Eric, but we ain't coming." I mumble before also turning back to finish my lunch before the break is over.
"Don't call me Eric you fuckin joo"
RING
"Have fun stalking Stan, fatass."
"Knockyourselfoutdude."
"Fack both of you! You'll see who has da last laugh."
**********
After School
"DoyoureallythinkCartman'sgonnagoandstalkthem?" Kenny asks. I offered him a chance to come over to my house after school, and he accepted. So now we're walking back to my place. It'll be nice to finally have some time to catch up with Kenny.
"He'll probably attempt, but get caught the second his fatass steps foot into their house." I chuckle, kicking at the ground. "My house isn't too far, let's continue talking there."
Yeah, there's no fucking way Cartman's getting in there.
Upon arriving at my house both Kenny and I receive a text from Cartman that reads; you guys im in stans closet
"Whatthefuck." Kenny softly whispers before unzipping his coat. "Is he just like, chilling in there?" Kenny adds.
"I... I'll text him back." I reply in dumbstruck awe, typing; what the fuck how
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Take This To Heart |Stan X Kyle|
Fanfiction"Look, I know they were just messing around, but it always made me so flustered! Who gets flustered over gay jokes about you and your best friend?" Kyle's crush on Stan has lasted for years, and with the help of a familiar face, Kyle agrees to an ex...
