I love too hard that's always been a problem for me. I really did love you. As many times as I try to tell myself I didn't because it hurts, I did. I loved with everything I had. I love how you made me feel not only about myself but about life. I still don't know how I got over you. I thought I never would. You made me feel like I'd never be happy again because you were the one that showed me how to be it. I remember late night car rides where you told me to break out and stop hiding. You'd freestyle and it sounded silly at first but eventually I grew to love the words that had no correlation to each other. I never truly broke out. And to think that you led me to the progress I did make, makes me wonder if we were together longer if I'd show you who I really am. There's lots of things I wonder if we were still together. I know I'm the one that ended things but when you showed me what we could've been before life got in the way of things I had built you up to be this big lifesaver. Then you let me down. Like everyone else inevitably does. I know you're sick. And I wonder if you still feel that pain. Or if you still face those insecurities that I tried so hard to make disappear. I wonder if you ever miss me. The way you missed her. I felt through out our entire relationship you were still caught up on her. You talked about her a lot. I wonder if I impacted you as much as she did. If you still see things that remind you of me. You'd tell me you love me and that I meant the world to you but I wonder if you actually meant it and if you did do you still feel that same way? It doesn't matter to me anymore. How you feel doesn't matter because even if you did still want me I wouldn't want you. You always acted like a child and that made me feel the same way, like I was a child and I think it's time I grow up.
