The Escape

Where It All Began

I woke up feeling sore and ill. I though for sure I would die that time, but I didn't. When will it go away? I can't handle anymore of the pain. It's too much; the skin on my back is a different color every morning. I can't remember how many times he hit me before I passed out last night. He had left me bleeding in the dark corner as he always did. I used to think it was God keeping me alive, but now I know that its my mother is punishing me for killing her.

She makes sure there's just a little life left in me every night for me to be able to see the next. I can hear her when I'm gone from reality. "Nicolle." She calls sweetly. "It's not time yet" she'll whisper into my ear. "You still have a lifetime left" she'll say, but then her face will contort into something dark and cruel. I can still tell that its my mother but there will be an evil air about her. She will look down at me and begin to speak to me like some pest. "Something I never had" She will sneer. Every time I cry and ask her to forgive me. "I never meant for it to happen!"I will plead, but she just laughs and sends me into a nightmare forcing me to relive the night that started it all.

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"But Mommmmmmmmmm!" I whine. "I wanna go see the wiggles concert NOW!"

Seeing the wiggles live was a toddlers dream. Not going to a wiggles concert when you were little was like hating The Beatles! It was inconceivable! I was no different, I just had to see them in concert. Sadly the concert wasn't until six at night and that was my bedtime. My mother had refused to buy me tickets. She said it was to late and that there were bad guys near the arena.

"Please Mommy! Pleassssssssseeeeeee!" I said through tears.

My mother tried to explain why I couldnt go, but back then "pothead, gang, guns, and death" we're all unknown and incomprehensible words to me. My mom couldn't find a way out and ended up allowing me to go.

"Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! I love you mommy! You are the best mommy in the whole world!". I said as I tried to come up with more compliments for my mom while spinning around in my little pink tutu that she had bought me for my birthday. My mom laughed, her eyes shining with pure joy, and bent down to look me straight in the eye.

"Now let's just keep this our little secret, ok?" She said smiling brightly. She had this way about her that made it to where I instinctively smiled back, nodding, happier than ever.

We made our way to the car. I kept looking at my mom smiling brightly. She glanced over noticing I was looking at her. Her eyes did that weird shining thing again. I began to giggle nonstop. I dont know what I would do with out her. Sure I had my dad, but that was different. My daddy was always gone at work and he didn't live here because he hadn't married my mommy yet. I would always ask her why daddy didn't marry her if he loved her so much. She said that love was love it didn't need to be made official to be real." And then she started rambling on about the government and things that made no sense to me.

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"We're here" My mother cooed! Cutting my beautiful singing of "Fruit Salad" off. It was my favorite song by the wiggles. I had hoped they'd play it that night. We got out of the car and hurriedly went into the arena. Skipping the whole way. The lady who's was checking our tickets to make sure they were real, (which I thought was pretty stupid, I mean come on woman you can see them you can touch them, I'm pretty sure they're real) smiled at my mother and mouthed something to her. I don't know what she said, but it made my mother blush as she quickly bent down and pulled my tutu back up around my waist. I don't know why she did this, I was fine with it down by my shoes because then my legs could cool off but whatever. The lady gave us our tickets back and we waltzed into the arena happier than ever.

The concert was amazing! They had sung Fruit Salad and i got to meet them at the end of the concert too! I didn't think this day could get any better and I was right, it could get better. It could get worse though and that's exactly what happened. By the end of that night pothead, gang, guns, and death were all apart of my dictionary.