Smosh high (shaymien) AU

6-regret

  I woke up that morning feeling like trash. Human unlovable trash. Every feeling from freshman year had come back and Axel was the culprit. I could never forgive him for what he did to me. My ass still stung and that's what only made it worse. I ran to my car crying as I got into it. I drove to school still sobbing from last night. I didn't even try to cover my emotions with music. I just let it all out. Every time I sat down it would hurt from Axel. I walked inside to the cafeteria. I sat down with everyone else and they started to talk about stuff. I tried to listen and hide my feelings but that only made it worse. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and I ran into there and closed a stall and started to sob. I was feeling regret from even becoming his boyfriend. He was a monster and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Axel took my virginity forcefully and I'm crying about it in a stall. I hated him. I hated Axel. I would never forgive him. I came out of the stall wondering how the rest of the day would go. I waited for the bell to ring and got to my first class. I sat at the table with Mari and Boze trying to forget Axel. Axel walked in with a big smile on his face and he could see the dried tears on my face. All he did was wink and smile more as he sat down. That was enough for me I ran out of the class and sprinted to the bathroom still crying. I locked myself in a stall and was crying again. I was still crying until I heard Boze start to speak
  "Damien what's wrong?"
  "Nothing"
  "Damien I'm not stupid I'm coming in"
I was hoping she wouldn't but I knew she was a good friend for not caring that she's a girl in a boys bathroom and trying to help me feel better. She was at the stall now and said
  "Can I come in now"
  "No"
  "Well I have another way"
I saw her climb under the little part underneath the door and enter the stall. She said
  "We're going to be locked in here until you tell me what's wrong"
  "Please I don't want to talk about it"
  "You'll feel better once you let it out"
  "Fine...last night at the date Axel took me home. He came in with me and...laid me down on the bed...I said 'I wanted to wait' but he didn't take no for an answer...he slapped me and covered my mouth...he raped-"
  "DAMIEN, WHAT THE FUCK?!"
  I only started to cry harder but then she hugged me and said
  "WERE LEAVING. I DON'T CARE IF ITS SKIPPING WERE LEAVING"
  I was just held by her crying all over her shirt. She lifted me up and took me to her car. I got in and she started to drive.

  After a while of driving I asked
   "Where are we going?"
   "We're going to my house"
    "Okay" I said still in tears. I saw a text from the chat and it said
Mari=WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?!
Boze turned to me and asked
   "Do you care if i tell?"
  I just shook my head no. By this time we are already at her house. I just laid down on the couch. It was like 8:30 and Boze texted the group.
Boze=me and Damien are at my house. Axel raped Damien
Noah=WHAT THE FUCK!!
Wes=WE'RE COMING OVER
The rest of the group just agreed they're all coming over. I had red puffy eyes and my eyelashes were dangling teardrops from them. I couldn't do anything but just wait for them to come over. I was just sadly waiting for the rest of the group to come. I had a pillow holding my head up from the sadness that I was experiencing. At this point all the old thoughts just came rushing back.
Your worthless
Just die
The world would be better without you.
Maybe this year wouldn't be better after all

704 words