The Preposterous Tale of Sir Edmund The Courageous

Chapter 8 The Treasure of the Weakling

    All were making their way as fast as they could to Krakk's lair: Goldskull and his skeletons were packing into their carriages, some scooping piles of their dead brethren in as they rode off; Sir Edmund astride his four legged namesake with Visazj flying at his shoulder; and Krakkfaster was flying overhead, though he was slowed by both his many wounds and also burdened by Maria in her cage.

    And so it happened that all parties arrived at the mouth of Krakk's lair at roughly the same time despite going on separate paths through the mountains. "Hands off thieves!" Krakkfaster said when he arrived "The treasure is rightfully mine!"
    "What claim have ye greater than earliest arrival? Does not the first to discover treasures of this sort not lay their own claim?" Goldskull challenged.
    "You did not discover the treasure! Krakkfaster shouted, Maria clapped her hands to her head from the blast of sound.
    "Shh," Sir Edmund said, placing an armored finger before his visor "I hear something from inside."
    They all fell silent and listened. Faintly from inside they could hear a scraping sound, as if something were dragging a lot of scrap metal across hard ground, at once they figured that someone must be trying to gather the treasure together.

    Goldskull charged; leading his soldiers in the narrow passage, filing rank after rank into the cavern. Krakkfaster charged; stomping the skeletons to the ground as he passed. Sir Edmund charged; weaving between the bones atop Edmund the Wise. Visazj charged; fluttering after all the commotion on his bat-like wings. Then altogether the skeleton king, dragon prince, and human knight burst into the cavern and before them groveled Wimpykrakk.

    The small dragon was trying to make himself even smaller by crouching against one wall.
    "What is this treason?!" Krakkfaster demanded in a booming voice.
    "Nothing meaning to be impolite your horror!" Wimpykrakk cowered further against the wall, away from Krakkfaster's wrathful tone.
    "IMPOLITE?!" Krakkfaster bellowed "WHY YOU ILLEGITIMATE WORM!"
    "Calm yourself, Lord." Goldskull said in a stately voice "You are now king of the Krakk Mountains, you must hold yourself with dignity—"
    Krakkfaster brought his clawed fist smashing down on Goldskull, shattering him into pieces.
    A red fire leapt up into the eyes of his warriors around him, and unlike Faquien the fire did not fade, they yelled war-cries that would have curdled their own blood if they still had any and charged Krakkfaster.
    Krakkfaster spun and retaliated, smashing more skeletons then before, the physicians and dark mages were hard pressed to keep their forces up. Some collected Goldskull and stuffed him in a sack for later reincarnation. Sir Edmund joined the fray as well and the heat of the cavern grew with exertion, it was already stuffy from Krakk's long inhabitance and now grew to almost overwhelming.
    In the midst of it all Princess Maria somehow got out of her cage; perhaps she slipped between the bars as Krakkfaster flung her around, perhaps some other way. She found herself huddling in a corner by herself, resisting the urge to puke again, watching as everyone else battled madly for the treasure. Wimpykrakk was trying shovel as much gold as he could into a large golden washtub as inconspicuously as possible. Many of the skeletons it seemed had entirely forgotten he was there, and were keeping Krakkfaster busy so Wimpykrakk was actually going reasonably unnoticed.
    One person did notice Wimpykrakk gathering his treasure other than Maria, and that was Visazj. Visazj did not directly cause harm to the dragon though he was adamant about not letting Wimpykrakk escape with the treasure unchallenged. Flying around Wimpykrakk's snout he would periodically rap his knuckles hard against the dragon's scales and horns, causing him to jerk his head back in surprise, during which time Visazj would scatter a handful of jewels back out onto the floor of the cavern.
    Wimpykrakk quickly tired of this game, snatching up what he had managed to gather, about three-quarters of the tub full with treasure, he flew up and over the heads of those gathered and out through the carven mouth. Since that day he has stayed clear of the Krakk mountains lest Krakkfaster find his revenge against him.