There's no control on where I wanted to be and where I'm. It feels weird, unfamiliar and I don't know what's surrounding me. What I thought was going to be in store for me was not really meant to be a condition like this.
Now I thought am I even hanging on life, as I had an instinct telling I will be pushed somewhere deeper in my unwarned mess.
I lost a sweet angel who pulled me out of my lonely and long pit too soon. I learnt to dream and saw the shining self buried inside my heart.
Both of us were brave in this war that kept growing. This self discovery was delicate, not a fighting battle. This self love never grew old and we were the same. Even if apart, our faith had more colour in contrast of every place that promised change.
This space made me promise myself to find the broken pieces of myself in our journey. Every moment he promised me he will always make me keep my promise. He said I didn't know myself before.
A kind heart teaches you to self love and be soft. It trusts you and you learn to trust yourself.
Sometimes I questioned if I should trust someone but he said only self trust can mend my heart.
Beauty can be seen from afar but you have walk on a new path everyday. It is shining and you will recognise it because it is true, honest and never turns back.
Self love is not limited and it has the power of kindness to yourself. It is powerful as brings you out of the past of hiding behind.
He said I was a simple person and completely see through. He could see through the tears, past and the interconnectedness.
Maybe he could see through all the walls of my hidden past as they fell apart in his protectiveness that I never wanted to be over.
I had no more secrets. We shared this mission of healing as he looked at me as if he had the same feelings. I knew he was going to bring life back to my hopelessness with only self love.
Self love can be the beginning of all exploration of meaning. He was delicate and strong as he replaced everything in his past to bring my future to life.
Now I'm back to the loneliness.
I'm desperate just as I used to when I kept my pain in secret. I knew people outwardly but no one knew me.
