They say 'girl be happy! What are you so sad about'
But what you all fail to understand is that I've become accustomed to the feeling of nothingness.
I have become friends with my anxiety and every time I try to leave she pulls me back and tells me she'll be better.
She promises
I have become roommates with the voices in my head
I tiptoe around them when I come home late,
I come home late because they have started to see that I no longer want to share space with them
It triggers them
And when they get triggered they start to beat me senseless
And the black and blue bruises in my mind remind me that i am the outcome of self hatred
So when they tell me 'girl be happy! What is there to be sad about'
I will want to respond with
'the voices and my anxiety won't let me go.'
It's true.
But instead I will say 'nothing. You're right. What is there to be sad about'
