TW// mentions of abuse, suicide, bullying, trauma, drugs, rape.
Being in abusive friendships in grade school gives 17 year old, Kristen Johnson trust issues causing her to always hide her emotions. Meeting people that leave her because of her not w...
My mom got back from her business trip this morning. I heard when she got home. I was just laying in my bed looking out the window and since I was laying on my side facing the window she thought I was sleeping.
It was 3:00 AM and I couldn't sleep at all. It was a very hot night and the heat kept me up.
I fell asleep here and there but never over 10 minutes.
I ended up going to sleep at 6:00 AM getting three hours of sleep.
9:10 AM ended up coming faster than I thought. I start to get ready for work at that time.
Going to the bathroom I get in and take a 15 minute shower. I hop out getting on my blue collared t-shirt with Domino's on the upper right corner. I put on my black high waisted jeans then my old skool vans and head to the kitchen to make myself breakfast.
Once I finish that I brush my teeth and put on a natural look of makeup.
By the time I finish everything it's 9:45 so I head to work.
♠️
Today was pretty busy so Thomas didn't really talk to me much but he always smiled and waved when he saw me.
♠️
For the past week or so it's been like this. So I came home tired everyday. Changing into my pajamas and taking off my makeup I go to sleep.
♠️
Today's the last day I have to stay working on the register. Tomorrow I'm able to make deliveries since I've gotten used to driving.
My mom made me drive to the grocery store, which is a few miles away, to get groceries a few times. Other times I just wanted to get out of my room.
Today has been a pretty chill day. No customers so we all basically get to sit around. There's been a customer every few hours but only about 3.
Ive been sitting on the counter watching Thomas trying to make me laugh. The only thing he's gotten out of me are dry chuckles when he trips over the same chair trying to do a trick.
He stops and sits and stares into my eyes trying to find something. I don't let him, obviously. "Why do you always have a poker face?" He asks with curiosity in his voice.
I sit there trying to figure out how to say it easily. "Because, there's no point in showing expression when there's nothing to express"
He sits there with a surprised look on his face. "So you're saying you have no emotions?"
"Yes Thomas, that's what I'm saying"
"Why?
"Because life's a bitch"
I left off with that as a customer pulled into the parking lot in front of the store.
I went behind the counter seeing the customer about to walk in.
I forced a smile as I politely asked what the customer wanted offering specials.
That night I walked home with a pizza in hand. Thomas was also walking home with me since he recently moved into the apartments a few blocks down.
Feeling as if he was going to ask me about our conversation earlier i brought up a different topic.
"So how old are you"
He seemed surprised. "Why do you want to know" he laughs.
I turn to him "because I don't want to be thinking you're older than you actually are that's weird"
He chuckles and looks at me too "20"
"I wasn't that off. I thought you were 22"
He laughs. "Welp bye ,Kristen. See you tomorrow"
I wave goodbye and walk up to my apartment complex.
I didn't do much except eat a slice of pizza while watching Disney movies. Those are the only acceptable movies for me.
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pok•er face noun an impassive expression that hides ones true feelings. •a person with a poker face
