Library Crush {Mileven}

Chapter 8

El’s POV

Days passed, maybe even weeks, I’m not sure about the amount of time I have spent sulking around. I haven’t left my room much, a few times maybe but when I did I would just walk around like a zombie. I haven’t talked much either, because the only person I want to talk to…. I can’t talk to him. He thinks I hate him, I hurt him and I want to punish myself for hurting him. I made a promise to Nancy to not hurt him, then that’s exactly what I ended up doing. The moment where I said goodbye to Mike keeps replaying in my head in a constant loop. I wish I could have grabbed his face in my hands, I wish I could have told him that I loved him, I wish I could have kissed him right there and have forgotten about the rest of the world. Every time I replay it, I make up a new ending, a happy one. In each one I get to hold him, I get to touch his soft face, take a hand full of his curly black hair and I kiss him. In each one of those I’m happy and I know that I will have him by my side forever and always. Then I snap back into reality and remember what I have done, then I cry myself to sleep. That has been every day since I left him standing there at the library. A new replay, back to reality, then I cry myself to sleep. Max has been trying to take care of me, pushing me to take showers, to eat, to walk around for a little. Sometimes I listen, most of the time I don’t. I appreciate that she is trying to take care of me but I deserve to be punished for hurting the most amazingly perfect guy I have ever met. The pain that I feel everyday? Not eating? That’s my punishment. Dad is regretting his decision more and more everyday, as he sees me In endless pain. He’s starting to see there’s no getting over this pain. It doesn’t hurt less with every passing day, if anything it hurts more since I don’t get to tell him the way I really feel, or at least see his smiling face. I hear Max and Dad arguing all the time, she’s worried about me and often scolds my father for his stupidity and challenges him to do something to make this all better. He never does anything, which infuriates the fiery redhead. One afternoon Max walked into my room, she had a different look in her eyes today, it’s usually sympathy and worry but today it was determination and strength.

“Get your ass in the shower and get dressed. We are going out” Max told me and I just rolled over on my bed, turning away from her.

“Oh no you don’t, we are going to see Mike” She told me, turning me back towards her.

“What do you mean?” I asked

“I mean, those 4 words you just said to me? Those have been the most words you have spoken to me in weeks. Weeks! I’m sick of it, you aren’t going to talk to Mike but you are at least going to see him, from a safe distance. So get your ass to the shower” Max said, pulling me to a seating position

“Shower because you stink and stinky and dreary is not a cute look on you” Max told me scrunching up her nose. This time, I listened to her. I took a shower and changed out of the clothes I have been wearing for a significant amount of time. Max then force fed me an eggo waffle before taking me out.

“So where are we going to go in order to see him?” I asked Max, as we stood outside of my house, I noticed Dad wasn’t home, probably at work or the market.

“We are going to the park. I have been stalking him for a while for you. Mike hasn’t been to the library since you left him there that night, he got fired from his job at the coffee shop because he stopped going. Mike’s been as miserable as you. His friends have been taking care of him and ensuring he is doing the things he usually does every day like read, play video games stuff like that. Today is the first day that they are trying to take him out, they are taking him to the park.” Max explained to me and my heart aches knowing that he was feeling the pain I have been experiencing. Max was carrying two hoodies, a blue one and a purple one and she gave me one of the two.