In Search Of The Goddess

Log Six

Nik helps coat my skin in the oils. It's kind of awkward at first, but the oil is so cold, I can't focus on anything else. 

It's cold in a way that goes straight to my bones. And numbing. I can't feel my shoulders or arms or fingers. I feel my muscles go numb and if I couldn't see my arms, I would think they had just disappeared right off my body. 

The cold goes deeper. The oil on my head seeps so far into my skin that I can feel my eyeballs going numb too. Maybe this was a bad idea. I try to mumble a quick prayer to the Goddess, but I feel as if I don't have lips. Or a tongue. Or teeth. Or an esophagus. 

I was on my knees, but I must have fallen over by now. I am staring at a curtained wall and the tiled flooring. There's some kind of design in it but my eyes have gone hazy. Everything seems so blue.

I feel like I'm floating. I flex my arms and stretch out my legs. I still can't really feel them, but I see them moving. I'm in place where gravity doesn't seem to matter. There are shimmering, transparent people everywhere. Standing in the cloudy blue. Walking together. Some are upside. Or sideways. But I might be upside down, so I'm not sure.

I walk forward and that seems to work normally. 

I pick up speed when I'm sure I won't fall into the blue. I see some people near me. I think they are humans. They look kind of wealthy. Stonewhits or Aklay if I had to guess. I don't have Nik with me to tell me.

There are three of them. 

"Hello," I say.

"Greetings, madam(?)," one says. He stares at me in a way he must think is subtle, but I am used to it. I wonder if he is confused by my Orcness or my androgyny. Maybe both.

He shakes his head and replaces his confused expression with polite interest.

"You don't belong up here," he says with a small smile.

"What is this place?"

"The ethereal plane," he says, "The place where we wait for the Goddess."

"She isn't here," I ask, frowning.

"No. She is just beyond it. We hear her ki-rin close by sometimes. But we haven't seen it."

"Have you seen the Goddess."

"No, we haven't."

I squint at the man. He looks familiar but I can't place him. 

"Why are you here? Who are all these people?"

He looks dubious, like I should know, but then he shrugs. 

"We are the dead."

Is this why he seems familiar to me? During the first month of my time in the Northern Federation, we went to an old, abandoned church of the Goddess. There we were visited by the ghosts waiting for the Goddess to bring them home. He must have been one of them though he looks much richer than the people we saw.

"Do you know how I can find Her?"

"Who?"

"The Goddess."

"No one knows."

"Do you hear the ki-rin going in a certain direction?"

"No. As soon as we hear it, it fades away."

"Hmmph." I grumble. I'm frustrated and started to get into a bad mood. I thank him and start wandering around aimlessly.

I'm swiping uselessly at the swirling blue when I hear heavy thuds like thunder, but softer. I spin around and see nothing.