the greatest show

12

Phillip's POV
"I don't know how I can fix this."
The silence is clear- not awkward, but not comfortable- I can hear her anger radiate through the room.
"Maybe you can't, Phillip."
I'd like to blame this on her hormones. That she's overreacting, and that when this baby pops out, she'll see the error in her ways, and forgive me.
But I can't, because she's handling this incredibly well.
She's under reacting. Anyone else would be screaming if they found out that I had gone to drink with their replacement. Anne, though, is rather passive aggressive, and she doesn't tell me how mad she is.
I don't think I want to know.
"Can I try?"
My voice is quiet, and the hope is drained of my words, but she bites her lip and remains silent, hesitating.
"I don't know. I don't know, Phillip."
She chews on her bottom nail, frowning. We avoid eye contact for awhile before breaking, and she stares into my eyes, shaking her head.
"Phillip, I don't know what to say. I don't care that you went to drink with Gabriella- I care that you drank in the first place. You know how hard it is to stop."
The more she talks, the more stressed she gets, and she quiets down immediately before getting too far.
"I would say sorry, but sorry's not enough..."
she rolls her eyes at my words and goes back to biting her lip.
"Sorry's not enough, Phillip. You can sleep here if you want, just... give me some time."
I nod wordlessly. I know this is the best I'll get- she won't forgive me immediately. Maybe ever.
The thought frightens me, and I shudder.
Anne leaves the room abruptly, one hand held protectively over her belly.
The silence is deafening.
Suddenly, it's just me and my thoughts, and I let them run wild. Anne will leave me, the baby will leave me, will I be alone forever?
  I didn't realize how much of a mistake this was. But I regret it. I regret it.
  What if we hadn't had that stupid argument the first time? What if it hadn't led to something more, what if I hadn't accepted Gabriella's request? I don't know. Maybe we'd be okay.
  I rock back and forth, shaking.
Is this really so bad? I didn't do anything with Gabriella. All I did was drink, is it so bad?
  It's our first real argument. Of course it's bad.
I suppose I thought that we'd never fight, that we'd float through an effortless love. I wish that was reality, but unfortunately, you have to work to achieve that kind of peace.
Anne is too good to me. I know that.
I'll have to work harder to live up to her standards, because she's amazing, and I'm a spoiled, white rich boy. Breaking free from that stereotype will be a struggle.
Will I have to live up to her standards anymore? Maybe we're no more. Maybe I'll never see her again.
I'm getting ahead of myself.
Still, I can't deny that I messed up. Badly. And she's right to be mad at me.
Almost as if on queue, she enters the room, her face still angry.
"I forgot something."
She reaches on the couch to grab something, but I stop her, my eyes pleading.
"Anne, I-"
She rolls her eyes and grabs an object off the couch, proceeding to strut out the door. I roll over and grab her wrist, pressing my lips in a line.
"Anne, I'm sorry." She tries to interrupt me, but I continue, my eyes trained on the floor.
"I know you're mad at me. And you have the right to be, because I fooled around with your replacement, and I started drinking..." I hesitate, biting my lip. "I know nothing I say will make you less mad, Anne, but just remember that I regret it. I regret it so much, and nothing will undo it, but I wish the thought hadn't even come in my mind to..."
She lifts her eyes to mine and shakes her head.
"I know you're sorry. And so am I. And you can't undo the past, I know that. But saying you're sorry won't change anything. Only time will. Give me time, okay? I promise I will forgive you."
That promise will be hard to keep.
"How much time do you need?"
"God, Phillip, I don't know..."
She sees the look on my face and rephrases.
"I don't know, a day or two."
Thank god. I thought she was going to say a year- in a year, we could be married. With our child. Our child will be six months.
  That's hard to imagine.
"Thank you."
  My voice is quiet, all the sadness drained from my tongue, but my words are powerful, and she bites her lip and nods. She attempts a smile, but it fades, and her eyes roam the room.
The sun, once bright, is now shadowed with clouds, casting an eerie glow across the room. The soft titter of raindrops on the windows is rhythmic, and calms my nerves.
I shut my eyes and relax as Anne leaves the room quietly, wordlessly. For the first time since yesterday, I feel relaxed.
The slow sprinkle of rain turns into a storm, the wind whipping, and sudden bursts of lighting interrupting my calm. It's harsh, and wild, and I shudder.
I rest my head on my hands, leaning against the sofa and playing with my fingertips. Anne is in her room now, in the attic- safe, sound, and quiet. I watch the wind howl for hours, and water falling in buckets from the sky, until it becomes relaxing, and I smile.
Maybe, things will improve from here. After rain comes a rainbow, and this is the worst rain we've had for awhile. There has to be something good after a storm. There has to be.
That's when I hear a scream from upstairs.
Anne's voice. Low, shrill and in distress.
The rain continues to fall.
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A/N:
So here's a short and rushed chapter. What's up people? Thank you so much for 2k(+) reads, I'm so happy! Keep reading because I promise my writing will get better from here.
Also, I started writing a new story that I might publish. Stay tuned if you want more of me! It's not a tgs fan fiction, unfortunately. :/