I Can't Own You? (BOOK 1)

38

In the morning, I tidy up the kitchen, preparing to wash dishes as I arrange the words I'll say to Nakamo to get him over quick. Hmm, I'd want to surprise him...so I can't say Chris is here. I run the warm water, pouring gain dish liquid, my hands lather up the water and soap in the sink, making bubbles.

How about...a small get together? Hmm, no, he'd ask questions. Hmm...maybe I need his jeep to tow my car to the shop. I use a green sponge to scrub at the dirty dishes from last night. That will work. Now I just need to make sure Chris doesn't call him.

"Good morning!" I jump from my son's sneaky announcement, splashing bubble water out of the sink and onto the floor.

"Holy cow, do you want to give me a heart attack?!"

"My bad, I thought you heard me."

"No, I was thinking."

Chris grabs a pear from a decorative bowl on the counter. "About what?"

"What to make tonight for dinner." I come up with a fast lie. "But then again, we have leftovers."

My baby leans against the counter and munches on the fruit. "How about we go out to eat, I miss Taste of Texas, I can't even remember the last time I've been there."

I rinse off the dishes and stack them on a water absorbent cloth laying atop the counter. "That would be fun, Helga will kill you with kisses."

"Oh my god, she's still working there?!"

"Till her dying breath." I chuckle. "So, where is Sam?"

Chris shrugs his shoulders. "His car is still out front; I guess he took a morning stroll." I sense that apprehension is being hidden from me with this cover up. "Anyway, um...that would be fun." He ends the conversation abruptly and exits the kitchen.

Hmm...trouble in paradise? It had to be that look he got over a certain someone last night. Chris is an open book of pure emotion. Of course that got to Sam. Hopefully, he stays away until I work out a plan. I switch off the sink and walk after my son, drying my hands on my blouse.

In the foyer, he sits on the last step of the staircase, staring at the front door as if he could summon Sam back.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No, I'm fine." Chris fiddles the pear back and forth in his palms.

I walk beside him and scoot his leg, moving it over to get enough room to sit. "Some people don't take good to exes, that's all."

"It's dumb, that's what it is, Naka and I parted well...as friends. Why is this even happening? It's not like I'm with him."

Yet...but I don't say that out loud. "Are you sure he didn't just go for exercise? He's a fit guy."

"I'm sure...he said nothing to me after dinner...he got too quiet." Chris gives a very concerning groan.

"That's because he's a city guy." I crack...not winning any amusement from my son. "In the city, guys are not as collected. It's something in the air that makes them more difficult." I nudge my son's shoulder. "I'll never understand why you went to the worse city in the states."

"Ehh...I was just following my friends; we all thought this town was too slow and boring. I realize, now that I'm back, it's full of more life than New York could ever be. Everything is simple and peaceful here. The only time I felt happy in the city was at the club." He laughs shortly. "That doesn't even playback in my mind as a good time anymore." His voice goes distant...as if remembering some critical experience.

"Nothing in that city is truly a good time, especially with the crazy violence. I'm glad you left."

Chris looks to me with a dignified expression. "I can defend myself...thanks to Naka."

"True, but that doesn't stop your dad and me from wanting to protect you."

"I can't be protected from everything." He gives me a wise look. "Life is dangerous; it's best to accept that."

"Dangerous is a strange word to use to sum up life with. I mean, you have bad shit happen, but that's not all life is." I take a moment to ponder. Dangerous...why would he use that word?? "Is this a good time to tell me why you're here?"

"What, I can't just visit my family?" He argues.

"I'm not saying you can't. This was just out of the blue, no call saying you're on the road, nothing."

"I wanted to surprise you two." He stammers...something he does when his thoughts are racing from a bad situation; a defense mechanism. Chris's brown eyes don't believe the lie.

"You're stammering, you do know I'm your mama, right? You can't hide for too long."

"I'm fine." Is all he says, then his eyes go back to the front door, fixed.

I eye his skinny arms, his uncut hair, his glossy eyes. What is it? He's shutting me out. It doesn't seem like he will tell me what's wrong. Perhaps Nakamo can get it out of him as my spy. I need to make that call. "You need to eat; you're too skinny...and you need a hair cut too." I stand and rub his hair. "Okay? For tonight?"

Chris gives a shaky smile.

Hmm...I don't like this, not at all. "I'll start breakfast." I lighten up, hoping to influence his mood to do the same. It doesn't. My son keeps the same tragic gaze.

I return to the kitchen and turn on the sink to drown out my voice as I make a call. On a light pink house phone hanging on the wall, I dial a number. The line rings a few times. I take this advantage to rehearse my script. I need his jeep to tow my car to the shop. I need his jeep to tow my car to the shop.

The line picks up.