I Can't Own You? (BOOK 1)

15 (NEW)

In his fancy blue car, we go. What is this turning into? A date night with an enemy? I climb into the passenger seat quick, wanting to get warm fast...cus fuck, it's cold out! His car smells of mint...like his breath, but no air freshener or gel cubes are in sight. Hmm...where...no stop focusing on stupid shit. Keep asking questions. "This car is a dream." I strap on my seatbelt and click it in.

"It's a McLaren P1 Coupe."

"I know...I had a car collection before."

James raises an intrigued brow. "That's interesting."

Uh oh, did I just slip up...? No, no, girls can play with cars, so I'm cool. "I'm not like most girls," I add. "What line of work are you in?"

James switches on the car, the engine rumbles, he checks his rearview mirror. "Are you cold?" He avoids my question and bumps on the heat.

"I'm just gonna ask again." My stubbornness makes him smirk.

Heat whooshes from the vents and radiates from the car seats. James takes out his phone and texts someone. I lean over slightly to read it; faking as if I'm using the let out the mirror to fix my hair. The message is to Ryan...the guy who called. Does he know? AM I CAUGHT? IS HE PLAYING ME THE SAME WAY I'M PLAYING HIM???!! I secretly read the text:

James: Need eyes on the apartment...call Zeke.

He shuts down the phone, then begins to drive off. "Where are we going?" I sound whiny while asking all these questions, but I don't care. I stare outside of the window as I wait for an answer, heavy snowfalls outside now. This weather is ugly, I can't wait until spring.

"To get you a nice dress."

I look to him confused. "I feel wherever we're going; I'll be fine in this." A graphic tee is okay for dinner...unless he's taking me somewhere five star.

"It doesn't show off your body enough, besides, when I said dinner I meant somewhere classy." He drives straight, a steady hand on the wheel. "Name a store you never shopped from."

"Out of the blue?"

"Yes."

Hmm...let me think....there are a lot of expensive shops I only ever daydreamed about buying from. Especially for homecoming, when I wasn't out of the closet yet, I went with a girl who was a friend. Who knew I was gay. Her name was Nelly; I wonder where she is now. Anyways, I remember watching her try on overly priced dresses at this one shop. We joked about how we would have to save up if we'd shop there....and left empty-handed. "New York Dress," I say, feeling dumb because the name was so simple.

"Nice choice." The car tires drive smoothly in the thick snow.

A moment hits me, a bizarre surreal-ness. I'm in a car that is over ten million dollars...about to get sexy...what is this narrative? Most importantly, how will I get out of it? This mission is going rogue. The time on the dashboard's clock reads 9:15. New York skyscrapers light up, blazing through the snow like a knife. Downtown is packed as always. James cuts around other cars, taking side streets with a rumbling engine.

PLAY VIDEO

I turn on the radio to break the silence between us. The radio plays: Baby It's Cold Outside, setting a familiar and comfortable vibe. Why does this feel normal to me...being here in his car? Am I being a silly? No...no I'm not, I know the money is from drugs, that it's illegal. This isn't silly. I'm unveiling information but...the fact that I'm still playing along feels wrong.

The slow piano duet plays on in a cozy and romantic tone.

At the dress boutique, I sort through racks of beautiful gowns of lace, silk, crochet, satin, velvet, fur, all fabrics that would hypnotize anyone. I can pull off the dress...there's no demarcation line of my fake boobs.

I have a very realistic cleavage line from the padded bra I wear, the sponges stick to my chest like glue. The texture resembles skin and is so comfy.

My body is snatched in the fabric of the dress as if I have on a girdle.

James is out waiting in the car, probably making a call about the watch tabs on my apartment. This is dangerous, this guy threatened me...why am I not scared?? Why isn't my head spinning and my heart racing?

I step down a long aisle, zoning out in shiny colors and fabric. Maybe because I know my act is solid enough to keep tricking him. I'm still in character. He believes I'm a woman because I'm a good deceiver...therefore I'm allowing myself to enjoy this night. I got this.

"Found anything?" A hot caress of air strokes the back of my ear. James.

I jump a little. "Don't sneak up on me!" I steam. "Don't rush me either." I press on, slipping from his embrace and stepping down the aisle, now paying attention unlike a few moments ago. My eyes browse a wall of dresses, towards the end of the wall, a sparkling blue, long sleeved, mermaid dress catches my eye.

Hmm...he likes blue.