My Lust For Him

My Issues

Kiera's POV

I would end up dying before I could finish a list of all of the issues that I have. Like believe me, I've lived a whole life of lies, regrets, and mistakes. And I haven't even finished living yet even though I wish that I had. This world is just too much too take. Too much to comprehend and adjust to. Now I understand why my mom didn't want to bring kids into this horrible world. But hey she did on accident, so I guess that's something else I can add. I'm a mistake, just like my life.

But you have to grow up and realize that life isn't just something that starts and ends. You have to learn how to work through it and the rough times. Like going off on your own and having to live without your parents. Losing a close family member like your dad. And right after you lose your dad you get diagnosed with cancer, anxiety, and depression. Even though you knew that you had anxiety and depression.

Now I'm pregnant and have to take extra medicine for my baby so that it won't have any side effects to my cancer even though it's genetic. I've decided that it's now or never to tell my mom. I love her so much and I bet that she'll support me because she had me at a young age. (Again with my life as a mistake.) if she doesn't accept me I don't know what I'll do. She's practically been the only one that I can confide in about Kylie to other than Keegan.

Keegan just doesn't understand how girls are insecure and sensitive. That's why I like to talk to my mom about that stuff. She understands me, if I lose her because of this child that I've already grown to love then I have no idea how I'm going to get her back. I know that I'm going to need her help on the way.

I texted my mom and ask her if she can meet me at the Latte Laboratory ( coffee shop ) saying that it was important. She texted back within a few seconds and said she'd meet me after work at 5:00. I was super nervous, I mean she's my mom... I hope that she won't make a big scene. I'm kind of glad that I'm telling her in public so that she won't react too rational because of how modest she is.

It was half an hour till 5:00 so I finished getting ready and got in my car to drive to Latte Laboratory. I got there and as I waited for her I ordered a Latte Luchri Chai. A little after it was brought to the table she arrived. She was a little worried but also excited because I said that it was important. My mom asked me if I had a boyfriend and if if was getting serious.

Me: He's not really my boyfriend even though I wish he was, but it has gotten pretty serious. Mom: Well I'm glad to hear that but how come he isn't your boyfriend already if it's serious? Me: It's complicated, like really complicated. Mom: Oh, is it that handsome boy... what's his name... oh that's right it's Keegan. He's a sweet young man. Oh. I forgot he's Kylie's boyfriend. Wait, I hope that's not why it's complicated... have you two been secretly dating behind Kylie's back? No, you wouldn't do that...

I was thinking why my mom was acting like she was old by calling Keegan a handsome young man, like the hell? She's only 16 years older than me. She's 36 for God's sake. I blushed and started nervously biting my lip. Mom: Keily McKenzie Cowles! How could you do something like that? (She said while whisper shouting) Me: I wasn't thinking, I feel so guilty and it was a little more than dating behind her back... Mom: Oh my God, you kissed him? How could you betray your friend like that? I started biting and chewing my lip even harder I was so nervous it probably looked like I was going to chew my lip off.

My mom just stared at me looking for an answer as I lifted my Latte up to drink her eyes got wide. Mom: Keily McKenzie Cowles... you've lost the spark of innocence and dignity in your eyes... ~my mind~ Oh shit, shit, shit! I'm dead!

Mom: Have you lost your v-card? Me: Mom, no one calls it that anymore... Mom: Yea, well I'm a cool mom. I'm hip. ~my mind~ Dear Lord Jesus, my mom has gone crazy. My mom interrupts my thoughts by saying, "So did you or not?" Me: Y-yes I d-did. I'm so sorry it just happened. Mom: Yea, sure it just happened. With your best friends boyfriend? How could you do that to her. Me: Mom, she's my ex best friend, plus I really like him.

Mom: That's still not a reason, you know what, never mind, it's not important. Well, how was it? Me: Ew, why would I talk to you about it? You're my mom! Mom: Yea, ok. Why don't you just go to your ex best friend and tell her how amazing the sex was with her boyfriend that you fucked? Huh? Why don't you? Me: Ok, I get it... it was how do I say it? AMAZING! So amazing that we weren't thinking and now I'm pregnant...(I mumbled)

Mom: You're what, oh my God... sweetheart. Your ex friends boyfriend? Wow. I honestly can't say anything I had you at sixteen. I don't even know if the guy that lived with us for all those years and died is your actual dad. I don't know if I should be disappointed in you or not because I'm so excited. I'm gonna be a grandma... a hip grandma for that fact.

~my mind~ One, the fuck mom? My dad, you had to bring him into this. Wait, he may not be my dad? The hell? I swear, she's drunk and high again. I'm happy that she accepts me but I'm mortified that she thinks she's hip. If she tries to bust a move and ends up breaking her hip then I'm just going to laugh my ass off. She'll probably be high when doing it? LOL!

And that's how I confessed to my mom.

Just a few list of my issues:

1. I have cancer
2. I have depression
3. I have anxiety
4. I lost a parent
5. My life is fucked up because my dad's dead
6. I'm in college and pregnant
7. It's my ex best friend's boyfriend's baby
8. My baby daddy is the love of my life
9. (But my love is taken...)
10. I feel like a whore or a slut
11. I'm a mistake just like my life

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