My Lust For Him

My Big Lie Digs Deeper

Kylie's POV

I really shouldn't have lied. I had made a big mistake. I didn't think about the consequences or the rest of the story. I didn't think ahead when I told Kyle that I was pregnant. I should've realized that I'd have to make it believable so that I could ease him into the lie. To make him believe it.

I was honestly glad that he had to go to work. That gave me more time to plan out my plot. I'm glad that my mom's a doctor. If I can get her to help me out by showing him a false ultrasound, help me get a fake pregnancy stomach, and for her to help me fake everything including my doctor's appointments. You know what? I'll call her now...

Ringing ringing ringing...

Mom: Hello? Me: Oh, hi mom. Mom: What do you need sweetie? I'm gonna warm her up so she might agree. Me: You're so beautiful.
Mom: You can't even see me... what do you want? Money? A new car? Me to pay your rent? A favor? Me: Why would you think that's the reason I'm calling you beautiful? Is that really something I would do? Mom: Yes. That's the only reason that you ever call me... so, just spit it out.

Me: Ok, I need a favor. Mom: Of course you do. What's so important sweetheart? Me: I might've told Kyle that I'm pregnant because he was going to break up with me. Mom: What the fuck is wrong with you? How are you my child? Me: Hey, it's not that bad... Mom: Yes it is but why do you need me to help you? Me: I was wondering if you could help me fake everything.

Mom: Why the hell would you think that I would help with that? Me: Because you're my mommy and a doctor. Mom: Ugh, if you weren't my daughter then I definitely wouldn't be doing this for you. What type of things do you want me to fake? Me: Well, I need a fake pregnant stomach, I need you to be my doctor so that you can fake the ultrasound.

Mom: That's a lot to ask for but I'll do it because you're my daughter. What have I got myself into? Me: You and me both. Mom: Well you started it. Me: But I need to go through with it. Mom: What are you gonna do when you're "due" to have the baby? Me: I haven't thought that much ahead but you have a point. Adoption? Mom: You can barely take care of yourself how will you have a real child, plus your boyfriend would be there when you go into "labor." Why don't you just fake a miscarriage, it's more believable. Me: See now that's a plan! Ok, thanks, bye! Mom: Yea, ok, bye.

That was easier than I thought it would be. Ok so I wrote the steps down.

1. Fake first doctor's appointment with mom
2. Buy fake pregnant stomachs each trimester
3. Fake ultrasound and heartbeat
4. Fake gender of baby
5. Fake miscarriage

I don't understand why I feel like such a bad person for doing this. I'm the victim. Will it hurt Kyle when he finds out that I will have a "miscarriage?" Will he find out that I'm faking it all? No, I'm way too good at lying. But if... *my thoughts trail off..* No buts or ifs. It's just only a matter of time and lies.

Is Kyle even truly happy for me or is he just pretending to be happy because he thinks that the child is his. ( even though there is no child, just to clarify.)

*talking to myself* I hope that he cries when I have a "miscarriage" if he doesn't then that means that he doesn't truly care about me. Kylie don't think about that ok. If he doesn't love you then you'll force him to love you somehow...

we always find a way to make people do what we want or to get what we want. I love him and I will make him mine. In anyway possible, torture, hurting someone that he loves, even killing just for him and I to be together forever...

Ok, I know that I seem a tad bit creepy at the least. But I'm not, I'm just overprotective. And again with the being insecure, but then again, aren't all girls? I am super overprotective because I lost my dad. At least that's why I think I am. I was a daddy's girl. He was my favorite person and parent. It all happened when I was thirteen....

My mom was at a women's retreat and my dad was watching me at our house. One of his friends came over and they watched tv, talked, and then the friend left. Half an hour after my dad walked inside, slipped and hit his head on the floor. He just got hurt so I helped him up and I slept in his bed with him to make sure that he was going to be okay.

It was the night after that he had a heart attack. I was alone with him. I took his phone and called my mom first. Then I called the police. They came a minute too late and my mom came thirty minutes late. I wasn't able to look at her because she wasn't there.

I honestly blamed myself. I knew that I wasn't the reason that he died but I just thought that if I would've done something differently then he would still be alive. I became depressed, went through those teenage years, and to top it all off I got my period for the first time. But because I was so stressed and depressed it was not a normal period.

I'm overprotective because I wasn't able to protect him. It's also another reason why I have anger issues and major trust issues. I met Kiera at guidance counseling for mourning teens who just lost a parent. We had a lot in common so we hit it off. She lost her dad too. That's why we were inseparable and didn't really trust anyone else. We were able to relate to each other better because of our situation that we had. But we aren't that way anymore.

It's funny, ya know. How everyone tells you that it gets better, even though they don't truly know your situation because they've never experienced losing a parent. The just tell you it because it's what you want to hear, what you want to believe, and what they think will make you feel better. But it's not true. Because honestly I think that it just gets worse and worse until you can't take it anymore and just give up on life and give up your own life.