aching and shaking. (The Outsiders story)

chapter one

the boys were all out tonight, only darry and soda were home. darry never let me out of the house at night... he said that i would be jumped for how young and vulnerable i was, but i think it's because i am a girl.

well the backstory is, my mom is left. i never knew how or what happened, but she was not there one day when i was five. my dad is a drug and alcohol abuser, so whenever my mom wasn't around he'd always be hitting me. so when mom died i was abused constantly. when i was eleven i had the chance to runaway. i ran into the city, where most of the people were so if he ran after me i could easily be disguised with the others. i felt tears majorly weld in my eyes while i was running, so i closed them and wiped them off, but with my luck was i ran straight into someone. i apologized frantically to the boy i just ran into. he looked older, and he was cussing me out. i remember, 'stupid kid! i hate em!' and many other things i wouldn't dare to repeat. but once he got a good look at me his face softened and he helped me up. i didn't realize that before i ran out of the house i had cuts along my temple and a bruised eye. i got a chance to look at him. he had high cheek bones and dark shaggy hair, with a somewhat deep voice. he told me that he was sorry, and i told him it was alright and my fault anyways. the boy introduced his name as dallas. he took me to his place and we talked for a bit. i told him my backstory, and he told me about himself. he was fifteen, he used live in new york, organizing gangs and stuff like that. he looked much older for his age. i lived with him for about a year until he could look old enough, which he already did, to get a fake ID, and he took full custody over me. i never thought of him as a dad, or a brother, just my best friend. dallas said that he never liked much kids, but he liked me, and didn't want to see me in an orphan home. but the thing was he was barley home. i met the rest of his friends, and darry took me in his hands because he thought that living with dally wasn't safe enough for me. i've lived in the curtis household for about two years, and met another one of my best friends, ponyboy. we are only a year apart, and right when we met each other we clicked instantly. the curtis parents were still alive, and their mother treated me like the daughter she's never had, and when she passed away that even did some damage on me too. when their mother was around i never had my nightmares of my dad as often, she'd always be there to comfort me. but when she was gone my nightmares got worse and worse. no one could comfort me but pony, so darry made me switch bedrooms with soda so i can be with pony. i felt bad to be honest, but my nightmares only happen about once a month now. darry never lets me out of the house. he thinks it's too dangerous. i haven't seen dallas in almost two months, and i miss him. but every weekend the boys go out for the drive-in movies, while darry stays home with me and occasionally soda. i mean, i'm fifteen, shouldn't i be able to go out? they could protect me right?

i'd never argue with darry about it. he was so intimidating to me, but it was clear that he loved me than most of the gang. he's always doing the little extra things for me that he never done for no one else.

i've been having to share clothes with these boys ever since i moved in with them, which was fine, i didn't mind. but dally used to get me some clothes with the money he 'earned', which i'm pretty sure he stole. i've had only two bras in my lifetime, and i'd never ask no one for money for a new one, because they'd all think i'm gross.

i walked out of pony's room to sit with soda and darry. darrel had the newspaper in his hand while he was talking on the phone. soda was just sitting on the couch, his head back and exhausted. i guess it was pretty late, but i'm just anxious to see pony.

"why are you still up?" soda asked tiredly from the couch.

"i don't know" i lied.

i sat by soda on the couch as i played with my fingers. all of the sudden the fence raddled outside. it must've been pony... he opened up the door sheepishly as darry slammed down the paper while shooting up from his seat