The Third Dixon (Sequel- discontinued)

9

:)

~Aaliyah's Pov~

I walked over to the benches that were at the back of Hilltop. I sat down on one of them and put my head in my hands as my elbows tested on the table. I caught my breath slightly, it was the first time i talked about Carl to Rick. I felt overwhelmed. Someone sat in front of me and ran my hand through my hair and finally looked up. I saw it was Jesus. He put his hand son the table and held held them out towards me i held them and he adjusted his grip on my hands and i finally felt a tear fell. "Take a deep breath." he said looking at me. I looked down at our hands. "In through your nose and out through your mouth." he said looking at me. I took in a breath just like he said.

I didn't even know he was back if i'm being honest, "Do you need to talk.?" He asked moving his thumbs on my hands. I nodded slightly as another tear fell. He nodded. "Have you talked to anyone.?" He asked shaking his head. I shook my head. "No." i said softly as i furrowed my eyebrows. "Why not.?" He asked. I shook my head the slightest. "They're all so busy, i don't want to get in their way." I said softly as we held hands.

"Talk to me," he said. I looked up at him and he nodded. "Talk to me. What do you feel." He repeated. I exhaled slightly. "You don't have to tell me why, just tell me what you're feeling, right now." He said. "Guilt." I said looking down as another tear fell. "I feel Guilty." I said letting go of one of his hands and wiping my tears away. He nodded. "Okay," he said as i bowed my head down and put my hand on my forehead. "You have to let it go." He said looking at me. "Okay? -Hey," he said putting his free hand on my arm. "Look at me." he said. I looked at him and took my hand off my forehead. "You need to let it go, If you carry it with you it's going make you feel much worse." He said shaking his head.

I rested my arm on the table again and he put his hand on my arm again. "And there's nothing i can do to make it better." I said. "Yes there is. There always is." He said shaking his head. "I can't." I said shaking my head. "You need to forgive yourself," He said. "I can't Jesus." I said shaking my head. "It's about Carl. I can't." I said shaking my head. "Think about how he'd feel. He wouldn't want you feeling like this right?" he asked. I shook my head after a second. "You have to find a way to move past it.. It'll take time but you'll feel better eventually.. I promise." He said nodding.

~The next day~

I was in the room where the Gracie was in. Michonne went and took Judith outside while i was in here taking care of Gracie, I was holding her in my arms. Rick said that was her name. "Hey," I looked over to see Rick. "Hey," I said looking at him. "I read the letter." he said reaching me, "When..?" I asked as i put Gracie down in the crib. "Not so long ago." He said. I nodded looking back at Rick. "Good," i said softly. He nodded and he looked at me. "He asked if i could watch over you too." He said. I nodded a bit looking down. "Can i tell you something- I just have to tell you. I can't keep it a secret like this from you.. I don't even know if it's considered a secret." i said walking to him. He looked at me. "What is it?" He asked looking at me. "It's about Carl." I started. He nodded. "I don't know if it's too soon- I can wait." i said shaking my head. "What is it," he said again.

"Before Carl-" I cut myself not really wanting to say it out loud.  "When he asked me to be alone with him." i said sitting down on the couch. He sat down next to me. "He asked me if i could promise him something." i said as my heart slowly started racing. "Promise him? Promise him what?" He asked softly as he looked at me. "Not to blame myself." i said looking at him as my voice shook the slightest. "For what?" He asked. "The day we were outside. Looking for Siddiq." I said, He nodded, looking away from me knowing where i was going with this. "Walkers showed up." I said and paused as i remembered small details from the day. "It was only a few. But then more showed, Carl fell." I said softly. He looked down.

"After i took down the walkers that were after me- I looked over and saw Carl was pinned to this deer on the floor. He was covered in blood from the deer so i didn't see the bite. I shot the walkers- But I didn't shoot them in time Rick." I said looking at him. A tear finally fell from my eyes. He shook his head. "Stop." He said looking at me. I looked at him. "If he said it's not your fault it's not." he said. I shook my head. "It feels like it." i said not looking at him. "It's not. Did you promise him?" He asked. I nodded. "yes." i said softly. He nodded. "Don't break that promise to him." he said looking at me.

I nodded a bit. "Look at me." he said putting a hand on my arm, I looked at him. "Don't break it," he said shaking his head. I nodded. "okay.?" he said. I hugged him and he hugged me back. "I'm so sorry Rick." i said. He put a hand on the back of my head. "Don't be." he said and we let go, He looked at me. "You should- talk to Siddiq.. Ask him how it happened, so you can hear his side." I said. He nodded a bit. "Thank you," he said. I nodded. "Of course," i said and he walked out. Gracie started making babbling noises making me smile. I looked at her and rubbed my eyes a bit. "you're adorable." i said walking up to her.

I picked her up and hugged her, I feel bad for the babies that have to grow up like this. The world is horrible and they're not gonna have a childhood like we all did. They're only gonna know what's going on now.