"I love him" I said as attempted to wipe away my tears and Grace placed her hand on my shoulder. "getting over a painful experience is like crossing monkey bars you know! you have to let go to move on" she said. I looked up at her I couldn't believe that came out her mouth, wise Grace and I felt a smile come across my face, a genuine smile. "See! You're already smiling!!!" Grace said smiling. "And think of it this way, you're one broken heart closer to finding your true love!" Taylor said. "You're right, I'm only 17 I have plenty of time" I said and I meant it. The sleepover was great, it was a time where I could relax and forget about Shawn.
The next day we all went out to get some lunch at this beautiful cafe and as soon as we walk in I see Shawn. "We can leave" Grace whispered. "No it's fine" I replied and I went an sat down, I wasn't letting Shawn rule me. A little while in I felt a tap on mr shoulder, it was Shawn. "Can I talk to you?" He asked. "Yeah sure" I replied as calmly as I could and we both walked outside.
"I was an idiot saying that because it's a lie" he said before pausing and taking a deep breath. "It was the first time that I saw you, I had never seen anything so perfect, I remember thinking I'd have to have you or I'd die, and, and well then you whispered that you loved me and I remember feeling so peaceful because I knew that what ever happened from that day wouldn't be that bad, and well it's bad now because I'm loosing you and I can't leave you, not without trying my hardest to get you back" Shawn said with true emotion. I looked at him for a moment and I thought about how shit he made me feel and how I thought I was worthless.
"Fuck you, I'm worth it and fuck you for making me think for the slightest second I'm not" I said and then I turned away. I knew that I'd reached an ultimate level of self respect, when I stopped begging that boy to love me properly.
