It All Started With a Smile

Alex's mentality

"Levi... Come on... Wake up..." I kept crying while holding her corpse "don't leave me Levi... I... I love you... Say you love me too... JUST SAY SOMETHING... please...". Not long after that the cops arrived and broke the door, apparently the neighbors heard the gunshots and called them. "What on earth happened in here" one of the officers said after he saw the corpses. I gently put Levi's corpse on the ground then crawled to the officer, I grabbed him by the end oh his shirt and cried "Please... Levi... She's not answering me... Please... Do something... Anything.... I'M BEGGING YOU", the officer then called a doctor that came with him and told him to check on her, the doctor looked at the officer with a hopeless look, the officer then looked at me and said "I'm sorry kid... We're too late", "what do u mean too late?" I said as tears kept shedding more and more down my face "Of course you can do something... A blood transfer... Anything... PLEASE... i... i.... I DON'T WANNA LIVE IN A WORLD WITHOUT HER..." after that he kneeled down and had only this to say to me: "I'm sorry... She's already dead" then he told his men to get me out of this place
- No please, I wanna stay here... I wanna stay with Levi... Put me down... LET GO OF ME... LEEEVIIIIIIIII...
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"Your grandson has witnessed a murder" the officer told my grandparents "he might face some mental problems, incase this happened please call us and we'll be ready to get him a therapist", then grandpa replied "we appreciate it sir". After he left I went to my room but was still able to hear them talk. "Poor Alex" grandma said "he must be really devastated of what happened, he still hasn't eaten anything" then grandpa replied "he's going to be fine, he'll get over it soon don't worry"... In my room I was sitting in the corner crying nonstop... "Levi" I kept saying her name while crying.... " It was all my fault..." I thought " we should've left the house... I should've listened to her...... 4:27pm... It's time we head home... 5:03pm... Guys... Why aren't you replying... Open the door already... Levi is starting to get worried.... As long as I'm breathing, I'll be there for you ... 6:32pm... Don't worry huns, I'm here for you... 7:18pm... Lev, let's go to my house, when they are back they'll call us... Levi stop it you're so funny, you almost killed me... 1:43am... No need to be scared.. I'm here for you.... 3:04am... You shouldn't be anxious lev... Even when you're asleep, I'm here for you.... 6:42am... Forever to you.... Forever ... Together... 12:05pm... We should get out of here... No don't worry... It's going to be fine ....... Levi... Please... Answer me .... Levi..."
The thoughts kepts repeating inside my head till I eventually fell asleep.
I woke up in the next day hoping it was just a nightmare... I took grandpa's phone and called Levi's house... But the cops replied, so I hung up. Unfortunately, it wasn't just a bad dream, my sadness soon turned into anger so I hit the window and it shattered to pieces. Soon after that my grandparents started knocking on the door asking if something happened to me, I told them I'm fine, so grandpa said "Alex, I know it's hard on you but you sho-" "JUST FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE" I interrupted. After they left, I sat down on my bed, angry, sad, mad, depressed... All those feelings fucked me up... I didn't know what to feel.... I got dressed and without saying a word to my grandparents I left and went to a nearby store, then told and adult to buy me four cigarettes packs and a lighter, surprisingly he did so I gave him the money, took my stuff then went back home to my room where I locked myself in... "It was all my fault" I thought... Then I thought about it even more then thought to myself "No... It wasn't my fault... It was going to happen anyways"... All these contradictory thoughts roaming in my mind didn't help... They soon developed and made me enter a state of war against myself. Day after day, I got worse and worse, smoking unstoppably, I needed two packs a day, sometimes I drank whiskey that I'd steal from grandpa's room, I felt numb, I couldn't stop thinking about her... The fun we had... The happiness we lived... The sad moments and the happy ones... Everything just added to my sadness... Day... After day... One day it was my fault... The next day it wasn't... One day I think that I should've done something... The other day I think that I've done what I can. Either way on either day, I knew one thing... I miss Levi... I stayed like that for about a year... When I was 14 years old I became well known to have multiple personalities disorder "but that's not true" I kept thinking "I only have one character that can't be true"... I didn't want to believe it. However, I noticed my actions, my mood swings, the ways I talked, it was obvious, but I still didn't want to believe it. I did eventually. And I named the other characters "Fred". I was able to differentiate between Fred and Alex... Fred thinks it was his fault and that he should've done something.. Fred wants revenge... Fred wants destruction, blood, massacres, madness and chaos... Fred wants to kill everyone that's related to Levi's death. Where as alex thought he did his best, Alex wants peace and a normal life, however sometimes Alex thought that Fred is right concerning the revenge part, and sometimes he didn't. But what is shared between us is that we both love Levi, and we hoth want to see her again...