I wish I could

Chapter 13

I went straight to my bed to avoid any thoughts which might trigger the thinking process in my brain again. And I was just too exhausted to do anything, even cry. My eyes had given up by then. The tears had dried but the pain was still there in my heart. And I didn't have the least idea when I would be able to live happily again.

I tried to sleep but I was not able to even shut my eyes. So, I just opened the drawer beside my bed while I was still lying on it and took out the red envelope.

And the memories clouded my head instantly.

**flashback**

"So finally you've landed in your dream city, right?" He said.

"Landed? I'm in my hotel room, unpacking my things. And I'm telling you, Steve, this place is amazing. I've just arrived here and I love it. I'm so glad that I got this opportunity." I said in my euphoric tone.

"Unpacking already? But you should take some rest first Zara, it was a long flight."

"Yeah, I know. But I don't like things messed up like this, you know that. And the way I packed all my stuff, I know I've ruined some of my really good clothes. So you see."

"That's okay, but really Zara, you should rest a little and then do this unpacking thing. After a while, you know."

"No way, I'm just doing it all right now and... wait. What is this?" I said holding a red envelope in my hand.

"What?" He asked.

"I found this envelope in my bag. But I don't remember keeping it here."

"Shit, damn you, Zara. Why do you always do these things?"

"Sorry?  What are you saying? What do you mean that I do things? Is it yours?" I asked.

"No, it's not mine. But I kept it in your bag. It's your birthday gift and you're not supposed to open it till your birthday. Do you get this?"

"Do you really think I have that much patience?" I laughed devilishly as I opened it.

"No, Zara. Please. Please don't open it right now. You know..." He was saying but I cut him off.

"Shut up!" And my jaw dropped." These...are diamonds. Oh. My. God. Steve!"

"Damn you! You ruined my surprise." He said in a disappointing tone.

"It's just...It's just beautiful, Steve. This bracelet is just amazing. Are you a secret millionaire?  Because it must be expensive." I said, not able to believe that I had the most amazing and obviously really expensive birthday gift in my hand from the most adorable boyfriend in this world.

"I had my savings you know. I brought this from them because I wanted to give you something really special. Did you like it?"

"Of course, I like it. In fact, I'm head over heels in love with it. I love you, Steve, I love you so very much."

"I love you too. But now, get some rest. And I better go and attend my classes. Alright? Take care love!"

"Yeah, you also take care of yourself." I said and hung up.

As I was just about to keep that beautiful bracelet in its envelope back again, I noticed that a piece of paper was also there in the envelope.

I took it out and found that it was a note from Steve. I opened it to read it.

'No matter how far we go from each other, our souls will always be chained together'

'Happy Birthday love!'

  ******

He was right. Our souls were chained together. I made him suffer and lose his life and now I was suffering. Indeed our souls were chained together, in suffering.

He was the one who always forgave me for my mistakes. He accepted me despite my flaws, imperfections and insecurities. And then when my turn came, I wasn't even able to tell him that I can also forgive him; I can also love him and accept him with his flaws.

Tears tried to stream down my face again but I stopped them as realisation hit me.

No, I won't make these tears my life.

It was my past and I had to let it go.

Yes, I had to do it. Steve was my past and Liam was my present. I had to leave it all behind me. Liam was doing everything he could to make me forget my past and I just couldn't let all of HIS efforts go futile.

I had to move on. I could be happy too. I also deserved happiness. I decided that I wasn't going to make my life miserable anymore. If I was supposed to only suffer in my life, then I would have got arrested that day and probably would have spent my entire life behind the bars, and maybe I would not have met Liam after that incident also.

He had done everything for me, making me a much stronger person than I was before. And I was simply making his life hell by behaving in that manner. 

But more than anything, I owed it to Steve to continue with my life and be happy.

So, I wiped my tears off, kept the envelope back in the drawer and headed for the shower for a new beginning of my life.

[This was a short chapter! So I decided to update today itself :) I hope all of you are enjoying my work :) Please, Please vote and comment! I need your votes and comments as feedback for my work. Thank you all for reading! xxx]