I wish I could

Chapter 1

As I lay down on my bed that day & thought about my life, I was really shocked that such drastic changes had occurred in my life in such a short time! Six years back from that time, I was a girl who had just completed her high school with no boyfriend, no amazing social life and stuff. I was just a girl like other girls of my age who had spent her last teenage years fangirling over One Direction whose fame had taken the world by a storm! But by the time I completed my degree in English majors against my parent’s will, I had got some sense knocked into my head. I realized and understood the fact they were not the “only handsome people” in the world. Although, I still considered them to be charming enough to steal anyone and everyone’s heart away.

I had almost given up on believing in luck or destiny after suffering so much so early in my life whether it was about being sexually harassed at the age of seven or having a family which had always been under the shadow of domestic violence until that day. As I looked back at all those things and kept reminding myself about what happened with me that day, I had to force myself to believe in those words called ‘Luck’ or ‘Destiny’ whichever suited that situation the best!

That day I saw one of the most wanted bachelors of this world go on his knees to propose me. The person whom the most girls want in their life, the person whose eyes have always made me wonder where I get lost when I see them, the person who was my first serious celebrity crush, the person called "Liam James Payne". Never in my dreams, I had ever thought that all my teenage fantasies will one day come true.  I had never considered myself beautiful at all with all those acne and their scars covering almost whole of my face during my teenage years. But I have also not had shortage of people calling me beautiful. But he made me feel my beauty. He made me respect my opinions and value my life. He made me emotionally strong.

I had always believed in fairy tales and the Happily-ever-after thing but his proposal that day made me see and feel those fairy tale moments come true in my life. I do love him unconditionally. And if I had known him before his fame, I would have still fallen for him like now because I’ve never come across any one like him. Even after knowing all these things and the fact that he loves me from all his heart, bearing the poignant pain in my chest, I had the courage in my heart to say ‘No’ to him that day.

I can't MARRY him! I can't MARRY the love of my life!